What it means to come home

I haven’t been home in a while. My life on the road is a series of suitcase bumps up and down escalators and relentless packing and unpacking.

Six years ago things were different. I had a home, a son in high school, a marriage, a stable income and my pancreas was still producing insulin. I can remember swimming laps in my pool and thinking, this is the life.

IMG_8472

But just when I thought things were hunkey dorey, the shit hit the fan.

My particular brand of crisis didn’t actually happen because I was diagnosed with diabetes. It happened before then. It was happening because I was sick and I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was convinced that my marriage, my home and everything stable was dragging me down. I wanted adventure and radical change.

Then all hell broke loose.

The details are irrelevant (a whole book in itself ) but within a year or two I was no longer married, my son had moved to Melbourne, someone else owned my home and I was living out of a suitcase in India. I can’t begin to tell you the number of times that phrase, “ be careful what you wish for, ” rolled around in my head!

IMG_8450

That moment of radical crisis forced me into a corner and made me question everything. Especially my roles. The big question? If I’m not a mother, wife, yoga teacher, who am I? I’d lived through so many ideas about who I thought I was that I realised I didn’t have a clue who I actually was. It’s the existential question most of us soul searching bohemian types ask at one point or other right?

Lucky for me I slam dunked into a person, who having been through something similar, was now out the other side. We met in India, as you do when your in the middle of an eat pray love adventure. He led me to a teacher and a teaching which answered every single soul searching question I’d ever had. Sound unbelievable? I thought the same. But it just so happens that a crisis is the only time in your life that you are forced to question. And in India a traditional teaching, which has existed for thousands of years, is designed to provide the answers.

As a westerner I was so full of my own ideas, conditioning and beliefs I never thought I could drop all that, but I did. As the simplicity of it all dawned on me I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. And rather then being devastated I felt like a huge weight had been lifted. Suddenly everything made sense. It enabled me to accept my diagnosis and get on with life. Living as artfully, passionately and fully as possible.

IMG_8483

Coming out of crisis for me was finding home in myself. And to be real, words cannot adequately describe what I’ve been assimilating since being exposed to the wisdom of the upanishadic tradition in India. What I can say is that in spite of living with a chronic illness I’ve found peace.

So when friends ask me how I manage to travel constantly, teach yoga, manage my relationship and live with diabetes. I keep it simple, practicing yoga every day, eating small nurturing meals. Walking in nature, taking time to be still and be with myself.

I’d love to hear from you how you come home to yourself.

Leave a comment below or send me a message and if you’d like a free copy of the first chapter of my new book click here

All I really want to do is eat chocolate pizza!


Welcome to day two of Diabetes Blog Week. Already its been an intense smorgasboard of words and images to take in. I am absolutely loving this years posts and it’s only Tuesday. Huge thank you to Karen from Bitter Sweet Diabetes for making this happen. Todays theme is The other half of diabetes- Tuesday

We think a lot about the physical component of diabetes, but the mental component is just as significant. How does diabetes affect you mentally or emotionally? How have you learned to deal with the mental aspect of the condition? Any tips, positive phrases, mantras, or ideas to share on getting out of a diabetes funk?

Oh my god I love diabetes- said no one EVER! But I can live with it. Why? Because I’ve worked for years to refine my attitude towards adversity. When I was a kid I was super competitive. If someone said I couldn’t do something I was determined to prove them wrong. Simple dares, like I bet you can’t climb to the top of that tree to complex ultimatums like; if you quit college you’ll never be a success were treated with equal merit. I made sure I climbed that tree, quit college and lived a successful happy life.

Living with a type A personality however is a double edged sword. I obsess about the numbers on my meter as much as I try and perfect my to-do list. I sweat over my doctors visit espousing to be the perfect Zen yogi when all I really want to do is eat chocolate pizza and give up!

I actually think my frustration helps me cope. Allowing myself to cry, be angry and feel hopeless gives me a break from the part of me that strives for perfection. In fact, every now and then I let myself be a disaster area. Test strips all over the floor, a handful of almonds (yep that’s my comfort food) and binge watching ‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.’

kimmy-schmidt-netflix

But besides slacking off I do see yoga and yoga practices as a lifeline. Having solid tools to calm my mind and nervous system makes a huge difference to my mental emotional state. Especially when I am dealing with a week of frustratingly high blood sugars or panicking over lows.

Coming back to my breath, slowing down and gaining perspective through quiet reflection are just some of the ways I cope. I also look to my partner for support and advice. He doesn’t have diabetes but he has incredible wisdom and knowledge and is always reminding me that even though the body has a disease, I can never be the disease and that my thoughts about the disease are much more trouble than the diabetes itself.

Learning to manage my thoughts, seeing them for what they are and knowing myself as that presence in whom all thoughts come and go creates a space for me to accept what’s happening. It’s not always easy but it helps.

And then there’s my absolute favourite tool for changing my attitude. The breath!

160119_DAV8261

 Try this simple technique to let go of stressful thoughts, worries and negativity

You can do this sitting in a chair, lying down or simply standing in line at the post office. Breathing in for an even count imagine you are breathing in love, joy, peace and calm Doubling the length of your exhalation breath out stress, negativity, fear or whatever it is that you want to let go of. Keep going until you find you’re hardly breathing and totally relaxed.

That’s it!

With great respect… Rachel

P.S Want to know more about my passion for yoga and diabetes? I’m offering the first chapter of my new book on Yoga for Diabetes for free. Find the right practice for your type by learning all about Ayurveda, the sister science of yoga.

Getting into your breath

Happy Spring!

When I started this blog 16 month’s ago my aim was to share tips and tricks on how yoga can help you manage your diabetes.  I was going to upload practices each week and create a body of work that would eventually lead to an online resource. Well … in my excitement I kind of got off track. I came across so many inspiring people who live with diabetes and do yoga that I wanted to share their insights too and then I wrote a book, which by the way is on the cusp of being ready.

But besides the diabetes related stuff I do I actually have a day job. I travel nationally and internationally teaching yoga workshops, retreats and teacher trainings with my partner and fellow yoga teacher, John Weddepohl.

Last month our work took us to Japan. It was my 10th visit and Johns 1st and besides teaching a ton of yoga we visited temples, Mt. Fuji, saw plum blossoms and went bowling! It was cold but refreshing and my blood sugar levels staying in range for the entire trip. You can imagine how exciting that was.

After spending 30 days writing, talking and sharing all about my life as a type 1 LADA diabetic in order to raise funds to publish the book, I had almost forgotten that most of the time my focus is on sharing yoga with people who don’t have diabetes. My trip to Japan was a great reminder. No matter what’s going on, yoga works. It worked for me before my diagnosis and it definitely works for me now. My emphasis on why might be different, but the results are the same.

As part of my day job I also teach private sessions and am currently working with someone who wants to increase their breath capacity. It’s been amazing to see instant results when I share how to feel and find the breath. Like how certain poses open up the chest to increase the lungs ability to take in more air, or how some postures release the muscles that can tighten up and restrict our breathing.

In my book on Yoga for Diabetes I devote a whole chapter to breath and breathing. But for todays blog I just wanted to share 3 simple postures that can improve your breath capacity and calm and restore your nervous system.
With great respect…Rachel

And … If you’d like to find out more about when the book is coming out and how to get your hands on a copy you can sign up for my newsletter here.

open the chest for blog

1. Lie on your back with your knees bent and feet placed firmly on the floor inner hip width distance apart. Raise your arms up over your  head, backs of the palms touching the floor. Keep the arms wide so there is no tension in your shoulders. Notice how easy it is to breathe into your chest in this position. Hold and breathe for 10 breaths. Then lower your arms and breathe normally and notice if your breath feels lighter.

breathing into the belly

2. Keeping your knees bent and your feet flat and have your arms relaxed alongside your torso, palms facing down. Raise your pelvis towards the sky. Make sure there is no pressure on the back of your neck. If there is, place a blanket under your shoulders. Begin to breathe into your belly. Watch it rise and fall. In this position your diaphragm (the muscle that sits underneath your rib cage and releases and contracts in order for your lungs to take in air) naturally releases. Hold here and take 10 deep belly breaths. Slowly lower your pelvis back down to the ground and relax.

Lunge to release psoas

3.  Come on to your hands and knees. Step your left foot in between your hands lining up the heel of your front foot with the base of your thumbs. keep your belly connected to your front thigh and breathe. Deepen the bend in the front knee making sure your front knee and ankle stay in a straight line. ( If you bend your knee too far and extend over your front ankle you could strain the knee joint!) Feel the stretch on the opposite front  thigh and groin. This stretches the psoas which is the only muscle in the body which connects the upper half of the body to the lower half. When the psoas is tight it also restricts your breathing. Hold here for 5 breaths and repeat on the other side.

 

 

A mini wave of bliss

It’s been a wild 33 days. A walk around the block and my friend convinced me to run a crowdfunding campaign to raise funds to produce my book on yoga for diabetes and then BOOM it happened!

WE DID IT!

How does it feel when a dream comes true? AWESOME is an understatement. When the numbers ticked over and I’d met my target I started walking around in circles in my living room, wondering now what?

The beauty of life is it doesn’t stop for a second, no matter what endeavours we pursue, no matter what we achieve, there’s another moment followed by another…and another…

Diabetes doesn’t stop either. A fact one can’t ignore when blood sugar drops at an inopportune moment.

For me it was yesterday. The whole day had been frantic because my partner John and I had to put everything in storage, clean the car, check the mail and do all those ordinary little bits and pieces to head off on a yoga teaching tour.

At about 4 pm, I went to check my blood sugar. But wait… where’s my meter? I looked in my bag, looked around the car. Did I leave it at the storage? The car wash? At home? The most valuable and precious item in my life and for the life of me I had absolutely no idea where it was.

You know that feeling you get when you lose control of your car, it might only be for a second, but it seems like eternity. Everything goes into slow motion and you’re hoping and possibly even praying that you’ll survive this one while you start making promises about the things you’ll never do again.

You’re probably imagining that as a yogi I took some deep belly breaths, gazed at my third eye, dropped into the lotus pose and started omming.

Screen Shot 2016-02-23 at 8.54.00 AM

Are you kidding? besides feeling like an absolute idiot for misplacing a life saving device. I pulled out my emergency stash of almonds and started munching. They’d been in my bag for ages and were stale and gross. It was either that or nothing.

( note to reader: I am still only on long acting insulin and a low for me isn’t low enough to need a fast acting carb to bring my levels up. I can still get away with eating a bag of nuts)

John, being an absolute gem drove me straight home. Luckily I have a second meter as a back up. And guess what? I wasn’t even low. 8.9 mmol stared back at me. Must have been those pesky almonds – I think I’m actually allergic to them.

Anyhoo…. I began searching for my missing meter. I looked EVERYWHERE. No luck. I’d remembered getting the meter out to put in my bag, I was sure I hadn’t left it anywhere other than at home and still couldn’t find it.

Calling on my skills as a yogi, I decided to give up and move on. Instead of complaining about having to get a new meter, or getting all caught up in my thoughts about where I’d lost it, I got on with my evening.

And then…

I found it! I bet you’re dying to know where.

It was sneakily sitting on top of John’s carry-on bag. Both meter case and carry-on bag are black and had seamlessly blended together.

The happiness I felt on finding the meter was equal to the excitement of reaching my target for the crowdfunding campaign. Funny how a little electronic device could bring on such a wave of bliss.

If you’d still like to preorder a copy of the book its not too late! There are sill 11 hrs left before it finishes. you can find more info here http://www.pozi.be/yoga4diabetes

LOis tetimonial

I can’t do it alone!

Why does it take crisis to realise we can’t do it alone? Even though we come here and leave here all by ourselves, the reality is, we can’t survive without the touch, love, friendship and support of others. It’s primal and it’s necessary.

Living with a chronic condition makes things even tougher. No-one can know the heart wrenching emotions, the frustration, the feelings of helplessness. Yet we soldier on, smiling, laughing even being there for our friends. People think we’re strong, amazing, they admire our resolve. They think we can do or be anything.

How many times have you gone home after a social outing and thought. “ This sucks, it’s hard, I’m so tired of having to be in control, when it’s so out of my control.”

IMG_7316

I’m writing this because this is how I felt for 6 years after my diagnosis. I was the only one I knew living with diabetes. I didn’t reach out once. I pretended I was normal and thought that if I tried hard enough I’d stop having diabetes. Heck it wasn’t even there. I fooled everyone else too. My friends and family saw me struggling but no-one thought I couldn’t beat it. Once my brother was brave enough to say, ‘Why don’t you just suck it up and go on insulin?’ My angry reply? ‘It’s complicated OKAY !’

Looking back I was misinformed, living in isolation and believing the stories I made up in my head.

Yoga definitely helped. It gave me breathing space. It calmed my nerves. It helped me to grieve. The minute I got on the mat and started stretching and bringing my mind to my breath. I came out of isolation. I felt connected, peaceful.

And yoga helped me to reach out. Surely there was someone else out there like me who was living with diabetes and loved yoga. My first attempts at connection were modest. I looked online and found someone. She looked like a nice person. I sent her a message. I waited for a reply.

IMG_2863

We made a connection, swapped stories and I followed the thread. When you try hard enough to thread an eye through a needle eventually it works. And in the process of stitching gradually all the little pieces of fabric come together into a fabulous garment. That’s the miracle of sewing, what appears seperate becomes whole.

With yoga it’s the opposite. The true purpose of the practice is not to stitch up all the little pieces till you reach a point of wholeness.  The practices of yoga are the reminder that you are nothing but wholeness, completeness with or without the practice.

What I had to come to terms with in my own life was that isolating myself wasn’t actually going to help me accept my diagnosis. I had to get that I couldn’t do it alone. I needed help and I needed to ask for it too.

And so here I am. I’ve spent over a year working on a book which shares the depth of my personal journey from diagnosis to acceptance with an in depth guide as to how yoga helped me do it.

A how to guide for anyone wanting to bring yoga into their daily diabetes management plan. To get the book published I need help, yours!

If you love yoga like I do and want other people with diabetes to benefit then I’d love you to come onboard and  pledge your support. You don’t have to have diabetes or even know someone with diabetes to get behind the project. Every little donation counts.

I truly can’t do it alone.

Want to know more? Check out the video below and visit www.pozi.be/yoga4diabetes

What keeps me on the straight and narrow

its 5.30 am and I’m high. High on life, love and the pursuit of happiness?

I wish!

I’m looking down the barrel of a big fat 11, thats 11mmol/L. Bummer drag was a phrase we coined in high school.

Yep that feels apt.

The thing is I’ve done nothing wrong. There is absolutely no reason for this insane number. And I know in comparison to some it’s not even that bad. Nothing an extra shot or two couldn’t resolve. But that’s the thing. I only get one shot a day…

Don’t get me started about the medical system here in Australia, the lack of access to technologies, the way they progress you through medications. Whats’ free and what’s not. But still it’s better than having no access to medication. So really I’m not complaining.

I know this sounds like a rant but really I’m trying to segway.

Because this is how I cope.

Y O G A

take-5-breathing-woman-yoga-heart1-700x466

I’m going to verticalise it.

Y
O
G
A

YES
Opportunity
Gratitude
Awareness

These four simple words keep me on the straight and narrow.

YES to rest, walks in nature, whatever makes me feel good. Yes to a daily yoga practice, breathing, stillness, meditation. Yes to LOVE, friendship, support. Yes to Insulin, blood sugar checks, Doctors and CDE’s. Yes to whatever helps me to do my best every day to manage the unmanagable.

Seeing everything as an OPPORTUNITY… to grow, accept, relax, be patient, create boundaries. Communicate, advocate, reciprocate.

Being Grateful. ( no explanation needed)

Wherever AWARENESS goes energy flows. That means if I’m thinking about that stupid number, I’m going to keep thinking about that stupid number until I’m more stressed out than I was before I looked at that number.

 So what’s the solution?

I have a choice… I can look at that number and remind myself that a number does not define me. I have a high reading. Thats all. Theres 24 hrs in a day and anything can happen.

I’d rather be aware of the beautiful sunny day, the plans I’ve made to meet a friend. The love I feel for my partner and the excitement of a new project on the boil.

And You? What keeps you on the straight and narrow? I’d love to know…

with great respect…Rachel

 

 

Seeking Balance

When I first started Insulin I wondered if there were any other yogis out there like me who’d been diagnosed with Adult Type 1 Diabetes . It didn’t take me long to find Melitta Rorty. Melitta is a true advocate for LADA (Latent Autoimmune Disease in Adults or Type 1.5)  I find Melitta’s blogs and articles refreshing and grounded because she breaks open the difficult topic of misdiagnosis. Recently we had a chat because I wanted to find out what yoga postures she used on a daily basis to stay calm in the face of the daily diabetes grind.  There was so much juice in the conversation that I asked her to share some tips for practicing yoga with diabetes. Enjoy…Rachel 

“I started practicing yoga in 1994, six months before I noticed my first symptoms of diabetes. When I was newly diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, at the age of 35, I was in extreme despair—I thought my life was ruined. But yoga saved my life then by allowing me some space and freedom from constant thoughts about my disease, and yoga continues to save my life today by helping me stay calm and focused despite the daily grind of self-care that those of us with Type 1 diabetes must do. I recommend yoga to anyone who has to live with the stress of chronic illness.

12204323_10206166053965270_2112438553_o

Yoga is a practice that uses poses, breathing techniques, relaxation, and meditation to balance mind, body, and spirit. In the West, hatha yoga, which involves stretching the body and forming different poses while keeping breathing slow and controlled, is most commonly practiced.  Yoga has much to offer people with diabetes, and probably its greatest benefit is stress reduction.  Diabetes is exacerbated by stress, and yoga is a useful tool to reduce stress.  It can both set the stage for better overall health and also reduce the stress associated with the myriad of details necessary for our daily diabetes care.  High levels of the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol raise blood glucose levels, and thus reducing stress is integral to good blood glucose control.  Yoga cannot cure diabetes, but the many benefits of yoga (stress reduction, increased sense of well-being, discipline, and focus) can help make the disease more manageable and have beneficial impacts on blood glucose control and on our lives.

For me, exercise, yoga, and meditation are my “magic pills.”  If only it were so easy as to pop a pill! 

To give you an idea of my routine, I attend a weekly class with a wonderful, experienced teacher.  I also have a morning home yoga and meditation practice.  My simple back care yoga routine plus meditation gets my day off to a good start.  Yoga has an immediate physical and practical impact on my health but it also affords me an emotional benefit over time.  Below are some of my tips for practicing yoga with diabetes:

12190634_10206166054365280_373480354_o

Asanas:  As with any physical activity, one must listen to and respect what your body tells you in the moment.  It can be risky to practice some poses, for example crow pose (bakasana), when you have low blood sugar or even close to low blood sugar.  Also, if you have diabetic complications such as retinopathy, many inverted poses are contraindicated.  This is where a good yoga instructor (or doctor or your own research) is worth his/her weight in gold.  Come to class early and don’t be afraid to talk with the teacher and ask questions.

Insulin pumps and continuous glucose monitors (CGMs):  I almost always turn my insulin pump down for yoga class.  I am a “blood sugar burner,” meaning physical activity drops my blood sugar significantly, and I need to be careful to avoid hypoglycemia.  I always have rapid-acting glucose handy.  For a particularly vigorous yoga class, I turn my pump down by 80% at least one hour prior to class and for the duration.  For my regular yoga class, I turn my pump down by 50% one hour prior to class and for the duration.  I place my CGM on a block or some other raised space so that no one steps on it.

Meditation:  Many people say that they can’t meditate because they can’t keep their minds still.  Thoughts end up swinging through their mind like monkeys swinging from branch to branch in the jungle.  But virtually everyone will have “monkey mind!”  The point is to meditate, to be mindful, and to be in the present moment.  I practice a very simple style of meditation, breath meditation or Insight Meditation; meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg is my guide and resource.  There are countless tools to help you with your meditation practice.  Just find a quiet space, and give it a try.  Even a moment of quieting your mind can bring you a sense of peace.

Magic Pixie Dust:  Sadly, within the yoga and meditation communities there can exist “magical thinking” that is harmful to those of us with Type 1 diabetes, or any other serious disease.  Yoga cannot cure us; yoga cannot get us off of exogenous insulin.  A yoga teacher once yelled at me in the middle of class and said “Why do you have to wear that [my insulin pump], why can’t you take it off for class, how can you do inverted poses with your insulin pump on?”  This kind of ignorance and lack of compassion can push people away from yoga when it could be a beneficial part of their healthy lifestyle.  Because of that incident, I now do more to inform yoga teachers about my Type 1 diabetes and the medical devices I use to manage it (insulin pump and continuous glucose monitor).  Before a recent yoga and meditation retreat, I let the teachers know I have Type 1 diabetes, and let them know that my devices are on vibrate mode, but still make some noise.  I received the most compassionate response.  Yoga should foster compassion within us and for others; teachers who truly care for their students demonstrate compassion and not judgment.

If you are new to yoga, the best way to start a yoga practice is to find a competent teacher with whom you feel comfortable, and whose style speaks to you.  Many yoga studios now offer Yoga Basics classes or an introductory yoga series of classes.  These “yoga training wheels” classes can be especially beneficial for those who have no experience with yoga, because even beginning classes can be too advanced for those just starting out.”

12207397_10206166097246352_298291390_o (1)

Melitta Rorty is many things:  traveler, geologist, nature enthusiast, yogini, and advocate.  She is also a person living with Type 1 diabetes.  In 1994, Melitta discovered yoga and a lifelong passion was born.  This passion would become her salvation in 1995 when she was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.  Originally misdiagnosed as having Type 2 diabetes, she almost lost her life because of the wrong diagnosis.  Her mission in life was born of that experience and she now works to educate, advocate, and inform about the importance of proper diagnosis and early treatment with insulin for patients with Type 1 diabetes.  Melitta is eternally grateful to all of her yoga teachers (Barbara Voinar and Tias Little being her current teachers).

What’s stress got to do with it?

More than  two years ago I connected with Dr. Lauren Tober, a clinical psychologist and yoga teacher. When we met there was an instant rapport. I loved her quiet, yet strong commitment to supporting others to be healthier and happier. She’s initiated projects like, Capturing Gratitude, a photographic happiness project and her e-course, a daily dose of bliss. Each one of Lauren’s offerings give solid tools in bringing you back to balance. I asked Lauren if she could share with us her understanding of the relationship between stress and the breath and to offer a mini practice from a daily dose of bliss.  I hope you enjoy her perspective and practice as much as I have. 

“Being stressed sets off a cascade of reactions in the body and brings us into Sympathetic Nervous System Dominance, otherwise known as the Stress Response, or the Fight-Flight-or-Freeze Response.  A number of stress hormones are released, including adrenaline, which signals to the body that our lives are in danger.  And when the body believes our life is danger, it slows down any non-essential functions like digestion, resting, healing and reproduction and focuses on responding to what is perceived to be an immediate and physical threat to our lives. Importantly for diabetes, when the Sympathetic Nervous System is dominant, epinephrine and cortisol are released, which raise blood sugar levels in order to boost energy.  If our life is in danger, we need to be able to run away or fight to save ourselves, so the rise of blood sugar levels gets more fuel to the cells so we can face whatever challenge we’re presented with.

The function of the Sympathetic Nervous System is to help us to save our life when it is being threatened.  It has a very important function, and without it we might not be here today at all. The problem is not that we have a Sympathetic Nervous System, or even that it is activated from time to time.  The problem is that we spend far too much time in this stress response. 

The Relaxation Response

Ideally we spend the majority of our time in Parasympathetic Nervous System Dominance, otherwise known as the Relaxation Response or the Rest-Digest-Repair-and-Reproduce branch of the nervous system.  And when our lives really are in immediate danger, like we’re being attacked or we step out in front of oncoming traffic, our Sympathetic Nervous System kicks in to save our lives. Then once the danger is over we move back into Parasympathetic dominance, and go about leading calm, balanced, happy and healthy lives.

a daily dose of bliss yoga for diabetes

The problem is that these days many of us are feeling stressed about non-life threatening events and are rushing around trying to meet largely self-induced deadlines.  Stress has become a part of our daily lives. Our bodies don’t know the difference between the stress resulting from an immediate life threatening situation and the stress of trying to cram too many things into one day.  So our body responds with these age-old life saving responses, whether our life is really in danger or not.

So what can we do about it? 

Life can be stressful, especially living with diabetes, and telling yourself to ‘just chill out’ doesn’t always work.

Thankfully, there are some wonderful breathing practices that are widely accepted by both the scientific and yogic communities, that can support us to move from Sympathetic to Parasympathetic dominance, or from stressed out to chilled out. Extending the length of the exhalation is my favourite way to calm the nervous system and instigate the relaxation response.

Find yourself a comfortable position to sit in, press play, and I’ll guide you through this simple but very effective practice.  It only takes a few minutes.

Dr Lauren Tober is a Clinical Psychologist, Happiness Coach and Yoga Teacher based in Byron Bay, Australia.  With a passion for health, healing and happiness, Lauren integrates the best of western psychology with ancient yogic wisdom, both on and off the mat. 

Lauren is the founder of Capturing Gratitude, a worldwide photographic happiness project, and A Daily Dose of Bliss, a highly acclaimed online yoga course for emotion regulation and bliss.

Lauren’s work has been featured in The Huffington Post, Australian Yoga Journal, the ABC, Well Being Magazine, Australian Yoga Life Magazine, Elephant Journal, Peppermint Magazine and more.

Lauren believes that happiness is our true nature, and that yoga, self compassion, gratitude, creativity and community help us to cultivate happiness in our lives on an everyday basis.

To join Lauren’s community and download a free gratitude meditation visit www.hello.laurentober.com.

adailydoseofbliss

photo by Matthias Boettrich

Remembering 9/11

I used to play the blame game when it came to having diabetes. But all that came to a halt on my first visit to the Diabetes educator. “ You know you’ve done nothing wrong, “ she shared, “some people just have the marker in their genes and it gets triggered by a stressful event. Can you think of a time in your life where you could have triggered the gene?” 

9/11,  thats when everything shifted.

That day was terrible, terrible for everyone.

We were in Manhattan waiting for my mentor and Yoga teacher Alan Finger to teach his yoga class when the planes hit the trade towers. As soon as I realised what had happened, I felt like I’d been shot in the chest, my legs buckling underneath me.  After a few minutes I had to get out of there. My son and stepson were at school a few blocks away and I wanted to be with them. Dazed and feeling sick to my stomach I walked out onto the street. It was quiet; ghost like, people with ashen faces walked beside me. The sky was a crisp blue and I wondered, how could everyone just keep going?

By the time I arrived at the school I was feeling faint. I wanted someone to hold me and look after me, but I wasn’t the only one in shock. I had to pull myself together. It was a relief to have both boys with me. The only way home to Brooklyn was to walk across the 59th Street Bridge. I could feel fear stuck in my throat, dry and hard. Gripping my sons’ hands, we walked.

Nearly seven hours after the towers had fallen I fell into my husband arms, but it was no consolation for the shock that numbed my body. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t even think because my whole world had turned upside down.

I don’t think I ever really recovered emotionally or physically from that day. And although I can’t specifically pinpoint the day my beta cells started collapsing I started experiencing a lot of strange physical symptoms about a year later. Tingling up and down my body, difficulty concentrating, insomnia, a feeling of being overly expanded, frequent urination, hives and skin rashes, racing heartbeat, difficulty digesting and many more things which turned my life into a living hell.

Recently I read an article that stated that those exposed to the debris from the falling towers are only now showing an array of symptoms and illnesses.

Matthias Boetrich Photographer

There was nothing I could have done to avoid that day. When the unexpected happens it happens. Right now somewhere in the world some terrifying event is taking place and someone is exposed to something they didn’t expect and could never predict. How does anyone cope? How do we move forward? I imagine a lot of us are reflecting on that today.

A friend of mine posts the same story every year on her facebook page. She says she does it so she never forgets how lucky she is. I also feel lucky, An odd thing to say when one has an incurable disease. Being diabetic is an opportunity to thrive against all odds. In my opinion that’s always the way forward. Keep doing your best, keep loving what is, no matter what.

meditation for yogafordiabetesblog

Notes from my morning meditation practice

Every morning I diligently roll out my mat and do a simple breathing and meditation practice. And each morning I hope for the best; moments of calm amidst the storm of thoughts. What I’ve learned through years of consistent practice is that the mind is not supposed to be still. In fact its job is to remind us that we’re awake. Thoughts are like photographs, they remind us of situations, events and ideas. I’m fascinated by how a thought can blossom into an idea, which becomes a rambling vine of flowers tumbling from mind onto paper.

mindfulness with yogafordiabetesblog

This morning I was thinking about how mindfulness techniques are designed to cultivate awareness. But what does it mean to cultivate awareness? Is awareness a garden that needs planting? Awareness isn’t something that grows. Have you ever tried to compare awareness to anything? Awareness is like…

Awareness just is.  When I say I am cultivating awareness I’m making awareness personal. But how can I personalise consciousness? It’s like trying to own the sky. Perhaps what I really mean is that I am observing a mechanism, which thinks, defines and categorises thoughts.

Catching that I’m thinking is the beginning, knowing the thinker is the final resolution. Cultivating awareness is often associated with mindfulness. And meditation is seen as the tool. But immersed in the act of meditation one must assume the role of meditator. Losing oneself in the role “ trying to meditate” one can never realise oneself as the meditation itself.

Awareness, meditation, yoga are all words for the same thing. That objectless, nameless presence in which the world of objects including the objects of our thoughts play out.

yogafordiabetesblog

One cannot do awareness one can only be awareness, that which is already existing. One can’t make awareness one’s own and there’s no need to. It is that in which everything is owned. All thoughts, even the thought of being awareness resolves in awareness…

So what’s more important growing awareness or knowing who is aware?