How Do You Plan to Mark World Diabetes Day?

Today is November 14, World Diabetes Day. A day to shed light on what it means to live with this condition. And this year the build-up to “the day” has been more intense than ever. Friends in the blogosphere have been writing daily blogs, sharing memes, hashtags and so much more. I’ve been contributing too through daily Instagram and Facebook posts with the hashtag #makediabetesvisible and #diabetesawarenessmonth.

As I explore the different aspects of my life with diabetes I can’t help thinking…

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How lucky I am to be alive.

How before 1921 and the discovery of Insulin my condition would have been a death sentence.

How living with diabetes has widened my community and connected me with people who are making a difference in the lives of others.

How it’s humbled me, made me more compassionate, sensitive and taught me to put myself first.

How it has made me healthier, more resilient and courageous.

How it has inspired me to be honest with myself.

How its deepened my connection with my husband, son, parents, and friends.

How I’ve experienced vulnerability as strength.

How yoga has helped me cope, been my anchor and helped preserve my immune system.

How western medicine and medications which manage diabetes are life-saving and non-negotiables that everyone should have access to.

How charities and organizations that raise money for diabetes and do so tirelessly should be given the recognition and financial support they deserve.

And how even though there are no days off with diabetes, one can go beyond diagnosis to live a happy, adventurous and fulfilled life.

How do you plan to mark #WorldDiabetesDay?

with great respect…

rachel

Idaho Graffiti 2008
Photo by Matthias Boettrich

 

One step closer

I’m back and so is the blog. Thanks to everyone who participated in our Diayogi Dialogue Summit. The feedback was phenomenal and even though I created and launched the summit I felt like I was a student along with everyone else.

I now have more yoga management tools under my belt to help me with the highs and lows. The Summit will be listed in the menu tab of the blog until the end of November to coincide with Diabetes Awareness Month so if you haven’t had a chance to watch all the episodes yet just go here and scroll down to find them all.

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Today marks the start of Diabetes Awareness Month and this is also the month that I was diagnosed 10 years ago. I feel like I have grown in leaps and bounds since then. From sitting in my endo’s office in total denial to being on a full insulin regime and getting my A1c into the normal range.

If you live with diabetes you know this isn’t easy. For me, yoga has been the key ingredient and learning to trust my body and life itself. As I’ve been upping my fast acting insulin doses, introducing more foods and finding the right balance between rest, work and home life, I finally feel in control of how I manage my daily life with this condition.

At my last doctor’s appointment, my doctor was encouraging. He celebrated my A1c results with me while offering a different kind of goal for my next visit. He said his aim is to help me normalize my life with diabetes so that injecting and checking my levels is a seamless experience.  He compared it to the everyday routine of brushing my teeth. I had to smile when he said this. I mean who can compare 7 injections a day to the painless swish swish of tooth brushing? But still, I get the gist.

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As I get used to fine-tuning my doses and the timing of the shots it gets easier and easier to get on with the day and the enjoyment of this precious life. I may not be a pro just yet but I’m definitely one step closer.

with great respect…

rachel

 

Yogis with Diabetes who teach

Happy Sunday wherever you are! I am on the cusp of launching Diayogi Dialogues, a free interview summit with 11 yoga teachers living with diabetes and I couldn’t be more excited.

A few months ago I had this spontaneous idea to create a series of vlogs with yoga teachers who live with diabetes. I sent a DM to some yogis I followed on Instagram and to my delight, they all said yes!

When I started the project I had assumed it would happen over months but as I started interviewing everyone and editing the vlogs I felt it needed to be a free summit delivered in a shorter time frame to capture your attention and inspire you to get on your mat and do your yoga!

So for the month of October, the summit will be occupying the blog.

Social media tile for Diayogi Dialogues

As I started reaching out to my support network to spread the word I also decided to create a giveaway as part of the launch. MySugr my favorite app came on board and together we created a giveaway for US subscribers, a free 6-month subscription to the mySugr bundle which includes free test strips and a diabetes coach and a copy of my book, Yoga for Diabetes How to Manage your Health with Yoga and Ayurveda. 

To enter the draw and receive a bonus free yoga class you can download instantly go here 

I am so grateful to mySugr Beyond Type 1, Diabetes Daily, Diabetes Strong, Dr. Jody Stanislaw, Daniele Hargenrader, Asha Brown from We Are Diabetes, Low Carb Mag and Diabetes Sisters and all the other people who have shared news of the summit with their tribes through social media. Our Summit launches this Monday, October 1, 2018. you can preregister here and I’ll be picking the winner for our giveaway at the end of the month.

Meet the Diayogi tribe and their Instagram handles:

Episode 1: Sarah Macleod from @whatsarahsaid

Episode 2 :Sarah Parker Bristow from @Growing_grounded

Episode 3: Evan Soroka from @evan_soroka

Episode 4: Margaret Shippey from @margaretshippey

Epsiode 5: Anna Elfving-Gomes @myyogal1fe_anna

Episode 6: Lauren Bongiorno @lauren_bongiorno

Episode 7: Sarah Tomlinson @sarahyantra

Episode 8: Anastasia Yatras @anastasiayogin

Episode 9: Karen Rose Tank @karenrosetank

Bonus Episode: Karo Sharma @trimurtiyoga

Bonus Episode: Synne Roisland @synnergyoga

Yoga; Beware All Ye who Enter.

My personal journey with diabetes was one of misdiagnosis and denial. It took me years to accept my diagnosis. When I did, my first step was to reach out and  find people like me who also practiced yoga. In the beginning, there weren’t many, but as my reach increased I found a community of practitioners and teachers thriving because of yoga. Anastasia Yatras is one of those lights. Her story is absolute gold and so inspiring! I can’t wait for you to read it. Take it away Anastasia

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In the grunge era of the 90’s, pre Instagram and Facebook, Yoga wasn’t as widespread as it is today. Back then, there was a clear division between alternative culture and the mainstream. In 1992, Yoga, along with shaved under cuts, sat absolutely in the first category.

In 1992, a university friend had invited me to yoga, in Newtown, Sydney, with the hook line that “Yoga made you sleep better”. As my life was a demanding schedule of missed lectures, all -nighters and endless rounds of stove- top coffee, I was intrigued.

With no idea what I was in for, (remember there was no You Tube Yoga back then), the exposed brick yoga room, felt austere.  The mysterious props including belts and wooden blocks, inexplicable. There may as well have been a sign above our Birkenstock sandals at the entrance, “Beware all ye who enter.”

To my novice ears, we were guided by elusive phrases such as “…outer skirt of the heel” and “something..something…asana”. I rushed to perform handstand with the grunt of an NRL player, breathing hard and fast, so as not to topple sideways with my jellied elbows. Lying with a wooden block underneath my shrieking sacrum (no foam bricks as yet), it felt akin to a medieval torture.

Yet, within the insufferably long silences, there it was, the gold; the gradual realisation that awareness could move to different parts of the body. It could be held there, diffuse or sharp pointed, and more so, it could be directed from the outside, in.

Those poses were a tangible reflection, not just of my body, but of something more profound, deeper still.

My friend didn’t return to Yoga. I never left.

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Diagnosis.

My relationship with Diabetes began 12 months before my official diagnosis. Tragically, in 1997, my then boyfriend’s dad, collapsed into a three day diabetic coma, until finally discovered by his second son.  A talented illustrator for Hanna and Barbara cartoons, I loved this man’s hallway- a veritable fortress of VHS cassettes.  For then reasons unknown, I studied the literature on diabetes, left abandoned by his dining room side table.

Precisely 12 months later, recalling those very symptoms I had read about, (excess thirst-tick, excess urination-tick, affected eyesight- tick), I took myself to the medical centre. “I think I have diabetes!” I pronounced, somewhat proud of my self-diagnostic abilities.  A blood test there and then showed a reading of 26 mmol/L and so off to the Illawarra Diabetes Service, I went, where I was shown how to inject with oranges.

It was November of 1998, the very year I had enrolled as an Iyengar Teacher trainee in the Blue Mountains, west of Sydney. Upon my teacher’s advice, I took time off to “lay low”.  Upon returning to teacher training, I was unable to focus. “You look haunted” my teacher said. “Go home”. Yet, he also said, diabetes gave my yoga purpose. Through the nebulousness of my grief, I recognised the truth of those words. That Yoga was the big circle and diabetes was a smaller one within it and not the other way around.

Gradually, I began to see Yoga as a tool which could reframe how I saw diabetes; that I could bear a positive impact upon it rather than it all being a negative impact on me. Of course, it was a slow journey, full of trials, errors, failures and loneliness. No one else in class was worrying about their sugars testing frequently, afraid equally of an embarrassing hypo or of having to inject in full view.

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Turning Point.

In 2002, I was chosen as the diabetic student for a Sydney medical Yoga workshop given by the wonderful Iyengar teachers, Swati and Rajiv Chanchanni. This experience gave me a clear, systematic and confidence boosting framework which I continue to use to this day in my practice.

From the Iyengar perspective, it was taught that the pancreas needed to be taken through its full range of motion.

So, from a diseased organ, I realised my pancreas, was in fact, profoundly intelligent cellular tissue, fully capable of responding to precise adaptations within the regular poses, turbo charging blood flow and, equally, maximising relaxation and quietness of mind.

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali speak of Yoga as a means to cease the fluctuations of mind. This is my standard operating procedure when checking my blood sugar levels, when heading off a high reading or a hypo.  To respond neutrally as possible which doesn’t equally translate as complacency.

Yoga is also defined as skill in action, something which as diabetics, we are constantly asked to practice, every waking and sleeping moment of our lives, it seems!

However, as my teacher Pixie Lillas says, we are not merely given the end destination in Yoga (good health, a quiet mind.). Yoga gives us the tools to get there.

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BIO
For the past 20 years, Anastasia’s Yoga practice has revolutionized her approach to living with Type 1 Diabetes. She began Yoga in 1992 where it fully resolved her dancer’s knee injury. At 26 years of age, in 1998, Anastasia embarked on two major life journeys. Iyengar Yoga Teacher training AND a diabetes diagnosis. Following the medical principles developed by world renown teacher of Yoga, B.K.S Iyengar, Anastasia has maintained HBA1C (averaged blood sugar levels)  of normal range (5-6mmol/L).

you can connect with Anastasia here 

Yoga makes the difference

Diabetes sucks. I know I’ve said it before but this time I really really mean it. And it’s not just because of the endless needle pricks, the shaky blood sugars, the near-death episodes or dietary issues. It’s the financial side. Why does having diabetes cost so much? I get choked up when I hear about how people are rationing their insulin, how insurance companies change what type of rapid or long-acting you have insurance for against your best interests or that in some countries people walk miles to take just one shot a day because of lack of refrigeration in their homes.

Things I take for granted here in Australia like subsidized insulin and test strips are nonexistent in other parts of the world. So I know I should be grateful. And I am.

But sometimes I need to vent. Because diabetes comes with a price. Knowing I have to keep some funds aside each week to cover my test strips means keeping to a tight budget.  And that’s not accounting for a week of lows where I use test strips like candy. It often means saying no to something I’d love to do so I can live well another day.

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I’m a girl with a mission. Yoga is my lifeline. I am convinced it’s the reason why I have managed my health so well in spite of my diabetes.  It has given me a positive outlook and a wealth of stress management tools. Writing the book has been my way of giving back. But writing a book and having a mission doesn’t mean life is all rainbows and unicorns. It takes hard work, dedication, consistency and total conviction to bring a project like that to fruition.

And here’s the thing…

The more I push myself out there, the harder I work to share,  the more I am seeing that people living with any type of diabetes aren’t jumping up and down about yoga.  You know what they say in marketing? You find your ideal client by touching their deepest longing. The biggest faux pas is creating a product no one wants. Even worse is creating something they don’t even know they need.

Enter Yoga, the new kid on the block in diabetes management. Will medical institutions endorse it? Will the media expound it’s benefits? Will bloggers and podcasters rave about it?

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Eventually yoga for diabetes will go mainstream.

I know that a simple yoga practice makes the difference. I for one am going to keep creating quality content for you. Things you can do today that will make a difference to the numbers on your meter, to the way you feel about your diabetes and even more importantly how you relate to your health and wellbeing in general.

Even 5 minutes of a consistent yoga practice can make a huge difference to your day.

So… what’s on offer this week? A FREE 20 minute yoga practice designed to reduce stress.

All you have to do is click this link and you’ll get it in your inbox straight away.

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I can’t wait for you to join me

with great respect…

rachel

 

 

 

 

10 awesome ways to get back your yoga mojo

If you’re like me you’ve probably spat the dummy on more than one occasion when it comes to living with diabetes. From feeling like you just can’t take another finger prick to wanting to consume the fridge, it can feel insurmountable.

When I was in total denial it was easy for me to ‘forget’ about my diabetes. But that only lasted for so long. Neuropathy was my cold hard slap in the face. As a yoga teacher I didn’t  want to lose the feeling in my hands and feet. I rely on that sensitivity.

Losing your diabetes management mojo is totally understandable. But what about your yoga mojo? Like when you tried yoga, loved it, signed up for that 6 week course and then somehow didn’t keep going.

Or maybe you attend weekly group classes but can’t seem to motivate yourself to practice at home. Once you’re stuck in a rut whether its blood sugar related or not it’s hard to see your way out.

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But here’s the thing. If you feel like you should make a change because you fear the consequences, you’ll never stick it out.  There has to be a strong motivator to step up.

So what are the 10 things I do when I feel like hiding under the covers?

  1. Keep my mat rolled out in quiet, clean spot. Preferably with a view and near a window
  2. Choose one posture that’s motivating, like down dog and hold it for at least 10 breaths. Then get on with my day
  3. Start with shoulder and arm stretches. Simply clasping my hands and lifting them up overhead immediately creates a feeling of expansion in the chest. It gets the prana (life force) circulating through the system.
  4. Head over to youtube and search for online yoga classes. There’s loads of free content on there. Not specific to diabetes, but supportive nevertheless. If you aren’t sure what kind of yoga is right for you check out this blogpost I wrote for Diabetes Sisters to get the gist. There are quite a few specific sequences on my youtube channel or you can head to our FB group and follow my live videos.
  5. Have a set practice, do the same sequence every day. You might want to practice at home but aren’t sure where to start. A set sequence takes care of that. This is the one I do every day.
  6. Invite friends over for a weekly at home yoga practice party. Share your favorite postures with each other. You don’t need to be teachers to do this. Roll out your mats, bring the kids, have fun and follow it with a bring a plate lunch. Yoga is all about community and what better way to get motivated than having fun with friends.
  7. Try a new style of yoga. Check out a new teacher or a new studio. Trying something new is a great way to get re-inspired to practice. Plus you can try out your new moves at home
  8. Go on a yoga holiday, retreat, weekend mini break. It’s amazing what a few days away from the hustle and bustle of life will do for you and your diabetes. We take diabetes with us everywhere we go but a change of scenery, down time and a focus on the yummy stress-reducing benefits can reinvigorate so many aspects of your day to day life. After a retreat, I am much more inclined to get on my mat. All of a sudden my reasons for practicing make sense again. If you live in Australia and would love to study with us check out our latest retreats and weekend getaways here 
  9. Read an inspirational yoga book. Reading about yoga, the why, what and how is an awesome motivator. My first yoga book was Light on Yoga by B.K.S Iyengar. For an awesome yoga reading list go here. And if you want a great book specific to yoga for diabetes check mine out.
  10. Take the practice out into nature. Fresh air, sunshine, ocean waves, a cool forest,  and birdsong create the perfect setting to feel inspired to breathe and move with intention. Better yet practice outside at sunrise or sunset. This is the most potent time to practice because the prana sits low to the earth and is more easily absorbed into the system.

So that’s it 10 ways I inspire myself to get on the mat every day. And it’s not just about getting back my yoga mojo, it spills over into my diabetes management too. When I feel alive, refreshed and strong I can handle those diabetes curveballs any which way they come.

P.S I’d love to know how do you get back your Yoga Mojo?

Comment below

with great respect…

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Back on track with yoga

A few days ago I hurt my back. I was overzealous and lifted a couch and twisted slightly the wrong way. Immediately my back went into spasm and I had to lie down. Never mind the fact that I had to teach two classes the next day, or that I hadn’t even landed in our new home or unpacked my bags.

I don’t hurt myself often but when I do I get annoyed. The frustration is in the fact that I could see it coming. I am a compulsive over-doer, overachiever and I have been working for years to curb my enthusiasm. My husband calls me “Squirrel”. He says it’s because I never stop moving.

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In yoga, the ones who love to do are called Pitta types. Pitta is composed of fire and a small amount of water. We are literally on fire, passionate, hot and often don’t stop until it’s too late.

With all the excitement of the last 9 months, I am so glad I live and breathe yoga. Without my practice, I’d probably have done more damage than strain my back for a day or two. No matter what goes on in my life, no matter how tough things get having a variety of yoga practices in my toolkit means I never hit empty.

My first stop is always the breath. Whether it’s waiting for my levels to come up from a low, or dealing with a dreaded hot flush ( yep… I am post-menopausal) or just feeling like it’s all getting too much. Stopping, dropping and taking ten slow breaths are my kind of pushups.

And it’s not just any kind of breaths it’s ten full complete breaths. I wrote about it a while back in this post and video practice. You’ll love it!

Next, I get my stretch on. Stretching is much more than just a feel-good exercise. It super connects you to the highway of your nervous system. The nervous system is designed to be your ally. When you need energy it ignites you so you have the fuel you need to get stuff done. It’s also your ultimate chill pill, enabling you to move through life without ‘sweating the small stuff”. The nervous system takes quite a beating when you live with diabetes. All the fluctuating blood sugars wreak havoc throwing you into the fight or flight response. Most of us, diabetes or not spend about 80% of our time in flight or flight. It should be the reverse. Stretching signals the nervous system to relax. Clasping your hands and reaching your arms up overhead and leaning from side to side is enough to bring you back to the relaxed part of your nervous system.

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My last and most favorite practice is to work with Mudra. Mudras are hand gestures which also work with the nervous system. Bringing the hands into specific positions concentrates the mind and calms the emotions. Learning to do yoga with your hands is the easiest and best kind because you don’t have to be fit or flexible to practice. Recently I shared a mudra sequence with patients recovering from various forms of cancer. Most had limited mobility and energy. Being able to bring the hands into a shape was blissfully relaxing and restorative. Here’s a short mudra practice I posted on the blog if you’d like to try it.

With some deep breath work, stretching and my mudra practice I’m no longer flat on my back. Phew, it feels good to be pain-free again.

I love how Yoga always gets me back on track!

with great respect…

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I am lucky to be alive

I’ve waited all week to write this post because it’s about time. Time, I threw my hat in the ring for National Diabetes Week to raise awareness about the signs and symptoms of type 1 diabetes.

My personal diagnosis story started long before my actual diagnosis. It began with a sense that something wasn’t quite right with my body. I had always been a frequent visitor to the toilet and had a tendency to be on the thin side. I told people I had an overactive bladder and yoga kept me fit. It took a total exhaustive collapse for me to sit up and take notice. But even then I refused to take action. It was my husband who took me to the doctor and suggested I have some blood tests.

My doctor at diagnosis didn’t have a clue. He shouted the word “diabetes” at me and shoved a few pamphlets in my direction. I remember leaving his office dumbstruck. How could this be happening? Was he for real?

Luckily I was able to see an endocrinologist a few days later. He looked over all my blood work and scratched his head. I don’t think he’d ever met someone in their 40’s as healthy as me with any kind of diabetes. He advised me to get a glucometer and to keep testing. We were to keep on eye on things before drawing conclusions.

With a stricter diet and lots of yoga, I managed to keep my levels in check for at least a year. But I wasn’t out of the woods. A GAD antibody test revealed Islet cell antibodies. That meant the source of my diabetes was autoimmune. I remember asking my doctor if I could reverse it. The slow nod of his head said it all. “As long as your levels stay in range you won’t need medication. But eventually, you will.”

I played the waiting game for 6 more years… waiting for the symptoms to worsen, for the levels to rise. With every blood test, I battled to get my levels down. Then I burnt out. I stopped going to the doctor telling myself I had everything under control.

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in 2014 at 46 kg, 6 months before I started Insulin and 6 years post-diagnosis

In 2014, I broke down. I started peeing several times a night, I was down to 46 kilos, I’d stopped eating and increased my exercise. Nothing worked but I didn’t give up. As long as I had energy I assumed diabetes hadn’t got me.

Man, was I wrong.

Diabetes had held me in its grip from day one. If only I’d known sooner the ramifications of delaying insulin. How I might have preserved more beta cells. If only I’d understood how much damage high blood sugar causes to the nervous system, cells, and organs. Then I wouldn’t have mild neuropathy or such trouble with my digestion.

It took a crisis to get my attention and a community to bring me back to vibrant health. The moment I started insulin was the day my life changed for the better. I found a thriving community of people living with Type 1 in the blogosphere and on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. I reached out, asked questions and informed myself about my condition. As I grew in knowledge, I realized that with better information, more resources and awareness around type 1 diabetes I might have taken action sooner.

My biggest message for anyone out there is to be aware of the 4 T’s  ( Tired, Thirsty, Thinner and Toilet) which can affect anyone with any type of diabetes. If you live with type 2 catching these symptoms early is key. Some people living with type 2 can go up to 7 years before detection. Early detection of type 1 saves lives.

I wish I could say I believe there is a cure around the corner. I am hopeful for sure. but hoping doesn’t change the present moment. For now, cure or no cure. I live with diabetes. I have come to terms with my diagnosis and gone on to live my best, happiest most positive life.

I tell myself every day. I am lucky to be alive!

with great respect….

rachel

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Striving for gold

It’s been a long road. From my initial diagnosis in 2008, starting long-acting insulin in 2014, to finally biting the bullet by adding short-acting this past January,  I’ve reached a milestone. A thumbs up from my diabetes HCP.

I have never put so much hard work into anything in my life. Counting carbs, measuring up minute insulin doses, Intermittent fasting, diligently sticking to my twice daily yoga practice. Staying hydrated, sleeping 8 hours a night and doing everything I can in the middle of a non-stop book launch tour to avoid stress.

It’s been a marathon!

Hearing, “Your diabetes is under control.” didn’t make me hoot and holler or give me permission to drop the ball. Instead, I feel apprehensive. What if I can’t keep it up? What if it was a fluke? Even more pressing is the thought,  “I can do better.”

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But then what? Getting my levels in the ideal range is a worthy goal. As hard as I’ve worked in the last 6 months I know I’d have to work even harder.  The big question right now is; am I up for it? Or… is it okay to paddle for a while?

I’m ready to pause. Pause perfection, pushing, expectation, assumption, hope, striving.  Ready to receive, let love, reflection, acceptance and guidance flood in.

When I was studying ballet in my early teens and starting pointe work  I assumed that the elegance of balancing on the end of my toes would be the ultimate pinnacle. In reality, it was unglamorous. My toes were often bloodied and bruised. I developed bunions and callouses and would wince and limp for days and weeks after practice. I learned over time to distance myself from the physical pain and to shut down any feelings of inadequacy around the shape and strength of my feet. It was in the depersonalization that I mastered the ability to balance and turn. It wasn’t easy but I did it.

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I feel the same about living day in and day out with diabetes. Taking a few steps back, a breath, a moment of stillness when I feel everything backing up on me means I can pause and begin again.

Even though I’ve spent the last 6 months striving for the gold standard and achieved it. I’m ready to create and adjust.

That’s the essence of what it means to be flexible in yoga practice. When a posture feels insurmountable, you don’t push to your edge. Instead, you back off, warm up the surrounding muscles and work up to the pose over days, weeks, even months. A slow build yields lasting results.

So instead of cutting back more on my carbs, increasing my insulin doses and watching every mouthful. I’ve got a plan. I’m going to be like the tortoise in Aesop’s fable, the Tortoise, and the Hare.

Slow and steady wins the race.

with great respect…

rachel

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Grace

There’s a lot of things I am supposed to be doing today. Writing three blog posts, sending out my newsletter, contacting media, calling a friend, organizing my travels and paying my bills. But I can’t.

I’m tired. Not just because I am on a steep learning curve with my diabetes management having added fast acting insulin to my regime, but because it’s too much to be a one person everything.  I wish I could press the slow-mo feature on my iPhone. Life and its pressure are relentless. I ache for simplicity.

When I first set out to write this blog I assumed I’d be sharing tons of yoga sequences, with tips and tricks for making life with diabetes easier. Even though that’s been the main focus, I’ve also realized that blogging about chronic illness and expressing my feelings about what it’s like to live with diabetes are as therapeutic as the practice itself.

When I write I find acceptance and gratitude.

There’s an image I use when things get tough. My yoga teacher gave it to me years ago as a way to let go and acquiesce to circumstances.

I imagine myself on the ground, belly down with arms outstretched at the feet of something greater.  Call it divinity, a deity, the beloved, creation. Whatever I call it for me, that image is grace. I literally “pray for grace”

And even if my prayers are not answered the way I would like I always feel lighter, more courageous and ready to try again.

With great respect…

rachel

Rachel Portraits 2015-96