Yoga; Beware All Ye who Enter.

My personal journey with diabetes was one of misdiagnosis and denial. It took me years to accept my diagnosis. When I did, my first step was to reach out and  find people like me who also practiced yoga. In the beginning, there weren’t many, but as my reach increased I found a community of practitioners and teachers thriving because of yoga. Anastasia Yatras is one of those lights. Her story is absolute gold and so inspiring! I can’t wait for you to read it. Take it away Anastasia

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In the grunge era of the 90’s, pre Instagram and Facebook, Yoga wasn’t as widespread as it is today. Back then, there was a clear division between alternative culture and the mainstream. In 1992, Yoga, along with shaved under cuts, sat absolutely in the first category.

In 1992, a university friend had invited me to yoga, in Newtown, Sydney, with the hook line that “Yoga made you sleep better”. As my life was a demanding schedule of missed lectures, all -nighters and endless rounds of stove- top coffee, I was intrigued.

With no idea what I was in for, (remember there was no You Tube Yoga back then), the exposed brick yoga room, felt austere.  The mysterious props including belts and wooden blocks, inexplicable. There may as well have been a sign above our Birkenstock sandals at the entrance, “Beware all ye who enter.”

To my novice ears, we were guided by elusive phrases such as “…outer skirt of the heel” and “something..something…asana”. I rushed to perform handstand with the grunt of an NRL player, breathing hard and fast, so as not to topple sideways with my jellied elbows. Lying with a wooden block underneath my shrieking sacrum (no foam bricks as yet), it felt akin to a medieval torture.

Yet, within the insufferably long silences, there it was, the gold; the gradual realisation that awareness could move to different parts of the body. It could be held there, diffuse or sharp pointed, and more so, it could be directed from the outside, in.

Those poses were a tangible reflection, not just of my body, but of something more profound, deeper still.

My friend didn’t return to Yoga. I never left.

Krounchasana

Diagnosis.

My relationship with Diabetes began 12 months before my official diagnosis. Tragically, in 1997, my then boyfriend’s dad, collapsed into a three day diabetic coma, until finally discovered by his second son.  A talented illustrator for Hanna and Barbara cartoons, I loved this man’s hallway- a veritable fortress of VHS cassettes.  For then reasons unknown, I studied the literature on diabetes, left abandoned by his dining room side table.

Precisely 12 months later, recalling those very symptoms I had read about, (excess thirst-tick, excess urination-tick, affected eyesight- tick), I took myself to the medical centre. “I think I have diabetes!” I pronounced, somewhat proud of my self-diagnostic abilities.  A blood test there and then showed a reading of 26 mmol/L and so off to the Illawarra Diabetes Service, I went, where I was shown how to inject with oranges.

It was November of 1998, the very year I had enrolled as an Iyengar Teacher trainee in the Blue Mountains, west of Sydney. Upon my teacher’s advice, I took time off to “lay low”.  Upon returning to teacher training, I was unable to focus. “You look haunted” my teacher said. “Go home”. Yet, he also said, diabetes gave my yoga purpose. Through the nebulousness of my grief, I recognised the truth of those words. That Yoga was the big circle and diabetes was a smaller one within it and not the other way around.

Gradually, I began to see Yoga as a tool which could reframe how I saw diabetes; that I could bear a positive impact upon it rather than it all being a negative impact on me. Of course, it was a slow journey, full of trials, errors, failures and loneliness. No one else in class was worrying about their sugars testing frequently, afraid equally of an embarrassing hypo or of having to inject in full view.

Half Moon Pose

Turning Point.

In 2002, I was chosen as the diabetic student for a Sydney medical Yoga workshop given by the wonderful Iyengar teachers, Swati and Rajiv Chanchanni. This experience gave me a clear, systematic and confidence boosting framework which I continue to use to this day in my practice.

From the Iyengar perspective, it was taught that the pancreas needed to be taken through its full range of motion.

So, from a diseased organ, I realised my pancreas, was in fact, profoundly intelligent cellular tissue, fully capable of responding to precise adaptations within the regular poses, turbo charging blood flow and, equally, maximising relaxation and quietness of mind.

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali speak of Yoga as a means to cease the fluctuations of mind. This is my standard operating procedure when checking my blood sugar levels, when heading off a high reading or a hypo.  To respond neutrally as possible which doesn’t equally translate as complacency.

Yoga is also defined as skill in action, something which as diabetics, we are constantly asked to practice, every waking and sleeping moment of our lives, it seems!

However, as my teacher Pixie Lillas says, we are not merely given the end destination in Yoga (good health, a quiet mind.). Yoga gives us the tools to get there.

anastasia

BIO
For the past 20 years, Anastasia’s Yoga practice has revolutionized her approach to living with Type 1 Diabetes. She began Yoga in 1992 where it fully resolved her dancer’s knee injury. At 26 years of age, in 1998, Anastasia embarked on two major life journeys. Iyengar Yoga Teacher training AND a diabetes diagnosis. Following the medical principles developed by world renown teacher of Yoga, B.K.S Iyengar, Anastasia has maintained HBA1C (averaged blood sugar levels)  of normal range (5-6mmol/L).

you can connect with Anastasia here 

5 poses to power up your practice

Something I struggled with when I first started yoga was having the strength to hold postures for longer than a few seconds. My wrists ached, I fell out of postures and my thighs buckled. I even found it hard to lift up when we did backbends on our bellies. I don’t think I would have persisted if I didn’t have my teacher encouraging me to do yoga more than just one day a week. At first, I just didn’t see the point in wasting time and money on things I didn’t think I could change.

It was my competitive streak that turned the tides. When my teacher moved effortlessly from handstand into a backbend or balanced lightly in headstand, then folded into lotus I couldn’t help thinking, “I want to do that!”

I set a goal for myself. I would do yoga every day for six months. if I hadn’t built up my strength by the end of that time. I’d quit. Six months of relentless practice paid off. I was stronger, focused, my physique had transformed and I felt like a new person.

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Not only had my body completely rearranged itself in shape and capability but my mindset had shifted too. I no longer felt like things were cut in stone. I now understood that it was my commitment and persistence that made the difference. If I could do this in six months what could I achieve in a year? I was 23 when I decided to make yoga my life. From my own personal practice to teaching others I haven’t looked back.

Every day on the mat is a new day. A day to come back to myself, to reawaken my muscles, to stay grounded and strong. And as part of my daily practice, I always include five postures to maintain my strength.

These five poses are also perfect for increasing insulin sensitivity, developing willpower, burning up toxicity and strengthening immunity.

Down Dog
Classically labeled as a posture to open your hamstrings this pose is also a wrist strengthener.  If you have wrist issues you can practice on your fists or even use a prop like a wedge or folded blanket under your wrists to take the pressure off your wrists.

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  • Start in child’s pose stretching your arms out in front of you.
  • Spread your fingers and line up the crease line of your wrists with the end of the mat ( the straight edge).
  • Tuck your toes under and lift your sitting bones high to the ceiling.
  • Bend your knees as you draw your chest close to your thighs taking all the pressure off your hands and arms.
  • You don’t have to straighten your legs if it strains your hamstrings.
  • Try and hold the pose for at least five breaths.
  • Eventually, build up to longer and longer holds in the pose.

Warrior 2
This pose is my absolute favorite. It’s a hip opener and thigh buster all in one. It’s really powerful in building strength in your thigh muscles and it supports your knee. It’s also a great pose for developing focus. The longer you hold it the stronger you feel. If you have inner thigh or hip issues or hip restrictions please take care. The wider your stance along the midline the less pressure on the hips.

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  • Begin by taking a wide stance so you face sideways on the mat.
  • Turn your right foot out and your left foot in.
  • Line up the heels with each other.
  • Bend your right knee to a 90-degree angle making sure the front knee is stacked over the front ankle.
  • If it feels tight turn you back hip in towards your front foot and adjust the foot in even more.
  • Raise your arms to shoulder height and look over your middle finger.
  • Hold here for five breaths and build up to more.
  • Start with what feels comfortable.
  • Come out of the pose and repeat on the other side.

Chair 
I love the chair pose! It a total thigh strengthener, a forward bend and backbend all in one and develops core strength. It’s also awesome for getting the thigh muscles to uptake glucose for fuel helping to reduce blood sugars. Whenever I teach this in class my students grimace. They know we are going to hold this pose for a long time. Even better than being in the pose is coming out of it. You feel an incredible rush of energy through your whole body. After chair I feel stimulated, my mind is clear and my body feels warm and tingly all over.

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  • Start the pose with your toes touching and heels slightly apart.
  • Hinge at the hips, shift your sitting bones slightly back and imagine you’re about to sit in a  chair.
  • Make sure your knees are slightly apart and your chest stays open.
  • You can have your hands in prayer position at the heart, lengthened out in front our reaching overhead.
  • Keep your abdomen back to your chest and lengthen your lower back.
  • Breathe deeply and hold for five breaths.
  • Work up to a longer hold as you get more confident.

Plank
It’s time to get your plank on! This pose is perfect for building wrist, abdominal and shoulder strength. It’s also heating, intense and involves every muscle in the body. I love it because when I do it I feel like I’m doing something powerful. Even on the most challenging of days when my blood sugar feels out of control or I’m overwhelmed with the minutiae of daily diabetes management, plank gets me in the zone.

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  • Start on your hands and knees.
  • extend your right leg and then your left until you are balanced between the hands and the balls of the feet.
  • Press firmly into your thumb and forefinger and feel the weight spreading evenly throughout the palm of the hand.
  • Lift up out of the wrists in this pose
  • Round the upper back slightly to stabilize the shoulder blades on the back.
  • If it’s hard to hold, drop your knees to the floor.
  • Hold for five breaths working up to a longer hold.

Boat Pose
Boat pose is another great abdominal strengthener. It also works the inner thighs and opens the chest. Finding just the right place to put your balance for the pose is key. You’ll also want to make sure you keep your chest open to facilitate ease of breath. You can keep your legs bent or straight. Either way, you’re abdominals will get a workout. I often use my ability to hold this pose as a measure of how my strength is progressing. At first it can feel a little wobbly but eventually, you’ll get the hang of it and balance like a pro.

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  • Start in a seated position, knees bent and feet flat on the floor.
  • Shift your weight slightly back behind your sitting bones and gently lift your feet off the ground.
  • You can start by holding behind your thighs with your hands to find your point of balance.
  • Gradually lift your feet to line up with your knees so they are at a right angle.
  • Keep your chest open and extend your arms alongside your thighs
  • Eventually, work towards straightening the legs so you are in a V shape.
  • Hold for 5 breaths, gradually testing to see if you can hold it that little bit longer

If you’ve just completed the practice, Brilliant! Including these five poses into your workout routine is a guaranteed way to power up your practice and feel energized and ready for anything diabetes and life throws your way.

With great respect…

rachel

P.S Want to know more about Yoga and Diabetes and how to find the right practice for you? Check out my new book or sign up for my newsletter here and get the first chapter for free.

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When Gratitude Steps In

About two weeks ago I had my worst low ever. We were on the road driving. Luckily I wasn’t at the wheel but being somewhere between Jugiong and Gundagai (yes those are names of Aussie towns) it was still scary.

As it was happening I kept racking my brain trying to figure out the why. I hadn’t over injected for lunch or had I? Did I take an extra unit of basal insulin in the rush to leave that morning? I’d already had a near low the day before. Was I just that little bit more sensitive to Insulin from our sunset walk the evening before?

Whatever the reason, the one and a half tabs I popped weren’t working fast enough.

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I had to play the waiting game. We stopped at a fancy pub and I made an obligatory visit to the loo. Every time I go low I might as well have a tiger chasing me. The feeling is exactly the same. While in the lavatory I kept a close eye on my levels but sadly the numbers weren’t looking good. I couldn’t make my trusty mySugr app lie. The numbers surrounded in color-coded circles kept going lower. Orange had been replaced by red.

I popped another tab while my body began to shake. Everything looked blurry, I felt blurry and at the same time, my thoughts were like sharp bubbles that I could catch and get lost in. I made my way back to my husband who was waiting for me at a lone picnic table and told him I was still low. He held me and we waited. I kept testing and finally ten minutes later it came up a few points. We got back in the car. Disaster averted.

The rest of the day I felt fragile like I’d been poked with a stick. The days that followed were filled with unmanageable high readings. And I was scared to take insulin. I took it but I was still scared. I went to sleep at a higher level just to be on the safe side. And when I woke up higher I didn’t correct. Instead, I waited for it to gradually coast down by midday. Every time I tried to gather the courage to be a bit more accurate with my dosing I couldn’t do it.

And it dawned on me. This is what burnout looks and feels like.

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It’s taken me two weeks to find my confidence again. Gratitude has been the first step. In the depth of the low, I remember thinking quite clearly how grateful I was that I could still think clearly enough to test my blood sugar, that I had glucose tabs on hand, that my partner would come find me if I hadn’t come out. I felt grateful for my breath which I began to watch rising and falling in my chest. As the next two weeks unfolded, I was even more grateful for my daily yoga practice.

The ability to step on the mat and feel peace, calmness, stillness. The reminder that the experiencer, the seer, the one having the highs and lows is unaffected. As much as I want to believe I am my body, I cannot be my body. My body is something I have. As much as I think I am my thoughts about my disease. My thoughts are something I have. As much as I want to think that I am the disease, diabetes is something I have.

The depth of gratitude cannot be underestimated. I know it is a way of being that works in any situation, any crisis. I believe it is an essential yoga practice.

If you want to know more about gratitude and how it shapes my life with diabetes I recently sat down with my good friend Lauren Tober the creator of A Daily Dose of Bliss and A Grateful Life Podcast to share about Yoga, Diabetes and why I practice in my P.J’s.  Listen to the podcast and if you’d like to join us on a Daily Dose of Bliss registrations are open now.

Podcast on Gratitude with Rachel Zinman

with great respect…

rachel

 

Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable

I started long acting Insulin in 2014 under pressure from both my endocrinologist and GP. Up until that point, I tried my hardest to avoid insulin because I saw it as the enemy. I can remember being on a 10-day trial of the Medtronic CGM to see what was happening with my levels and sitting in a room with other people who were also on the trial. The conversation turned to the number of shots we were on a day. The guy next to me was on three. Back then I thought I was pre-diabetic and considered myself lucky to be shot free. I didn’t realise that the source of my higher blood sugar levels was autoimmune or that I had LADA (Latent Autoimmune Diabetes in Adults) which is essentially type 1 diabetes.

Starting insulin was terrifying. I had no idea how my body would respond and didn’t believe my endo when he assured me that I’d have so much energy that I wouldn’t recognise myself. Now that I’m on a  regime of both basal and bolus insulin I feel embarrassed that I didn’t believe him. Insulin has given me back my joie de vivre and made me feel like a kid again.

In my last post I talked about the challenges of getting a minuscule dose into a syringe and the feeling of fear around getting the dose just right. Just a few weeks later I’ve learned that practice makes perfect and a bit of peer support goes a long way.

I no longer worry about whipping out my syringe at dinner and dialing up my dose after hanging out with my friend Sarah MacLeod from What Sarah Said.
IMG_1902She showed me how to inject in the back of my arm by scrunching it up against a chair and mentioned how important it is to normalize injecting in public. I had always felt a little shy about lifting up my shirt and perhaps disrupting conversation to inject. She mentioned it didn’t make sense to go to the restroom, “who wants to go to a dirty smelly bathroom right?” It’s much cleaner at the table. I’d always worried that the insulin would get everywhere, on the food or other people. So far so good except last night was a little awkward in the Italian restaurant. The waiters were clearing the table just as I was priming my syringe. I persisted and although I probably overbolused a smidgen a ½ glucose tab in the movie theatre sorted me out.

When diabuddy, Christel Oerum from Diabetes Strong and I caught up for a walk in Malibu we discussed the predictability of dosing.

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When you know how your body responds to carbs, insulin and exercise its easy to see how much you’ll go up or down with a meal, a walk or a yoga practice. Like me, Christel, likes to take the guesswork out and counts every carb. She’s just written a really cool blog on how yoga impacts her blood sugars and her new Fit with Diabetes e-book is an essential read. More on her new book from me in an upcoming blog post.

I think my biggest challenge was to work out corrections (injecting insulin after a spike to keep blood glucose levels in range) It felt overwhelming and scary. What if I overcorrected, at what stage would I take a correction, and what if I wanted to eat, or exercise? To tackle this one, I had the support of Karen Rose Tank from Rose Health Coaching, she’s a certified health coach, yogini and type 1 diabetic and go-getter like me.

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I did my first correction at her house. She shared with me that you can use a correction to get yourself back in range and it’s a matter of keeping an eye on your levels after the correction.

Gary Scheiner, my diabetes coach from the mySugr bundle, explained that a good way to determine how far one unit will lower your blood sugar is to take a correction and then fast for the 4-hour duration that the insulin is in your system. It was magic to watch my level of 173 mg/dl (9.6 mmol) come down to 128 mg/dl (7.1 mmol) in 4 hours.

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Even cooler was to see how just 2 gms of a glucose tab would raise my level by 45 mg/dl. Big thanks to Mona Morstein from the Low Carb Diabetes Association and her new book Mastering Diabetes for giving me the info I needed to understand how to raise blood sugars safely. I was drinking apple juice to bring up my levels and could never figure out how much of a sip was 4 gms worth of carbs. I’ve learned that I only need half a glucose tab to stabilise my levels, no more eating the entire fridge at 11pm. It’s been neat to note that taking an injection at meals hasn’t impacted my daily yoga practice either. I can inject at breakfast, head to my mat an hour later and see little change in levels before and after practice.
IMG_2253All these milestones in the last two months have built my confidence and tackled my fears head-on.  It reminds me of the time my husband dared me to jump in the freezing ocean in South Africa. At first, I crossed my arms, shivered and refused to go in. Then, as I watched my husband dive under the waves I felt silly for being such a chicken. Slowly I waded in up to my ankles trying to get used to that numb icy cold feeling. Eventually, I dove in too and came up for air smiling from ear to ear shouting, “ That was awesome! and so refreshing!”

I can’t exactly say that living with diabetes is awesome or refreshing, but learning to ride the waves has a sweetness of its own.

with great respect…

rachel

Thanks-Giving

I haven’t celebrated Thanksgiving since 2003. I was 37, living in NYC, raising two children, working as a group and private yoga instructor, teaching teachers and doing everything I could to make ends meet. I remember gathering around the table with my family that Thanksgiving and feeling exhausted and vulnerable. I was allergic to just about everything, including the cat and I was embarrassed that I was picking at my food.

As we went around the table to express our gratitude I muttered something about being grateful for family and friends. I meant it at the time, but looking back my words were hollow. I didn’t know that I was already in the throws of diabetes, or that in a matter of years my whole life would be turned upside down.

Rachy-26Coming home for Thanksgiving nearly 14 years later I’m nostalgic for my childhood. Days where I heaped cranberries on Turkey and ate four slices of pumpkin pie.

Of course, I can enjoy Thanksgiving food with all the trimmings but it’s taken me days to get my levels back to normal after weeks of flying and book launch events and I’d rather celebrate the spirit of Thanksgiving in another way…

With a focus on thankfulness

In my daily life, I devote time each day to focus on what I am grateful and thankful for. It’s usually something I do at the end of my morning meditation. When my mind is quiet and my breath is still I think of all the good things that are happening in my life.

Lifestyle. Beautiful girl during yoga exerciseWhen I eat a meal I think about the magic of the seed, the person that planted the seed, the person that plowed the field and watered the plant, the one who harvested the fruit or vegetable, the driver who drove that vegetable to the grocery store, the person who stocked the shelf, the checkout person, the person who made the car so I could drive there in the first place. I think about my mother who taught me to cook and set the table. I even think about the people that made the table, the placemats, the pots and the cutlery.

From seed to table and in between a chain of people helped me to eat my dinner.

To me, Thanksgiving is so much more than gratitude it’s acknowledging how the whole of creation has facilitated that moment where the enjoyer and enjoyment are one.

Wishing each and every one of you a joyous Thanksgiving!

With great respect…

rachel

Don’t ignore the Signposts

Disclosure: This post is brought to you by Nuffnang and Priceline Pharmacy

I’ve thought a lot lately about the events that led up to my diagnosis. There were signposts but I’d ignored them. Like the fact that my great-grandfather, great uncle and grandmother all had type 2 diabetes. My great-grandfather died from diabetes before there was insulin and my great uncle controlled his blood sugars with diet. My grandmother was diagnosed in her 80’s not long after, she passed away.

As a young child I remember thinking that out of all the diseases, diabetes seemed like the worst.

In Australia 1.7 million people have diabetes. It is the leading cause of preventable blindness and kidney failure requiring dialysis. Heart attack and stroke increase by up to four times with diabetes and there are up to 4,400 amputations every year. 500,000 cases of type 2 diabetes go undiagnosed and 280 people develop diabetes every single day!

wooden signpost on mountain

The statistics are not only staggering they’re frightening and make me want to run a mile. Before my own diagnosis, it was easy for me to think that that could never be me.  I was super healthy and fit. I never had to think that my lifestyle might be putting me at risk.

Initially, the doctors thought I had prediabetes. I was told to switch to a low glycemic diet and to make sure my exercise was more cardio based. After three months of hard work, I expected good results. Instead, my levels didn’t comply. Further testing revealed the source of my diabetes was autoimmune and that I had LADA. Latent Autoimmune Diabetes in Adults.

Back then I didn’t bother finding out more about diabetes. As long as I didn’t have symptoms I told myself I’d be fine. What I didn’t know is that symptoms aren’t the only marker and symptoms don’t appear straight away. The complications of diabetes can appear much much later.

If I had been able to get blood tests and health checks at my local pharmacy, I am sure I would have been better informed and more prepared for my diagnosis. Most of us don’t go to the doctor until something’s really wrong and then it could be too late!

iStock_000038440118_FullWhen I heard about Priceline Pharmacy’s new incentive to have trained diabetes advisors in their stores to evaluate people’s risk of developing type 2 diabetes and provide handy tips to avoid it, I was heartened. The first time I had to pick up test strips at my local pharmacy. I was mortified. The person behind the counter knew nothing about my condition. As someone who lives with diabetes 24/7, I want to know that the people in the pharmacy are trained to know the signs, symptoms, and needs of someone who lives with diabetes.  To me, Priceline Pharmacy’s new initiative fits the bill. Their mission is to help people manage their diabetes, be it type 1 or type 2, through being experts in the field, providing education, support and the sale of diabetes consumables.

I love that they asked me to get behind this initiative and to share how important it is to screen for diabetes. I’ve often shared on the blog about my ups and downs. I’m a real person just like you trying to do my best to live with this condition. Any kind of professional support that’s easy to access in my opinion is a bonus.

If you live in Australia I urge you to head over to your local Priceline Pharmacy from 29th September – 25th October to get your FREE diabetes consultation at priceline.com.au/mission-health. Available in store.

with great respect…

.rachel

What brings me to my knees

When I was pregnant and about 6 years into my yoga practice I was asked to start a prenatal yoga class in my local town.  Looking back, I am amazed that everyone survived. I was inexperienced, teaching from a book and making grand claims about how the pain we were experiencing while stretching our legs was exactly like childbirth.

Then I gave birth. The pain was unimaginable and nothing like a hamstring stretch. How could I have been so blind!

Today after my second low blood sugar in two weeks, I feel like that.

Up until three weeks ago, I was a novice. Sure I’d had a few numbers teetering on the edge, but like a graceful dancer about to fall in her first performance, I’d somehow catch myself just in time and leap away with the perfect smile.

But yesterday brought me to my knees.

I’d woken up at 3.30 am with a perfect 5.5 mmol (in diabetes land we call that a Unicorn). I knew it would be better to get up, make myself a snack and get into the day than toss and turn and worry about a low.

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After completing a few administrative tasks and enjoying the efficacy of working before dawn, I took my morning basal dose (long-acting insulin). I’d been working the different spots on my tummy to avoid potential pitfalls. I.e. popping a blood vessel and injecting straight into a vein, and was trying a new technique to spread the skin rather than pinch so the needle didn’t go in too deep.

The needle went in without a hitch, I depressed the plunger and then waited for a count of 10. When I pulled the needle out there was a huge drop of blood and I could see a hard bubble forming under the skin.

Instead of panicking I decided that eating consistently all day would help to keep my levels on track. I enjoyed having a bigger lunch and a few extra snacks. Things were looking good. I’d stayed balanced for most of the day.

Then I took my 2nd Basal shot

I prodded my belly again for the perfect spot. Primed the needle, sunk it in and then… oh… no… ANOTHER BLEEDER! I stayed calm. This time there was no bubble and no mark. It was going to be fine

I happily made my dinner, ate my desert and headed to the computer to do a few tasks before a scheduled online evening meeting with one of my yoga students. I felt a strange itchy sensation on the right hip and just to make sure I wasn’t going low, checked my level.

2.6!!!!!!

Two friggin . 6

The shock of it was worse than the feeling. In fact, I felt absolutely ZERO, nada, nothing! I felt totally normal…I screamed, and my husband came running. We were on repeat (see my last blog). He’s telling me to breathe, stay calm and I’m chugging juice. He reminds me (like he did the last time) I really don’t need to drink the whole 250 ml.

2.6? I’m drinking it!

Then I sit on the couch and wait. My heart has stopped pounding and everything feels surreal.

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I feel sad. I’m sad for babies diagnosed at birth, for the mothers and fathers who get up all through the night to make sure they stay alive. For all the people in the world without insulin. For the adults like me who are diagnosed after a full life who now have to grapple with their new circumstances. For the lack of awareness and understanding that accompanies this disease. For the injustice from pharmaceutical companies who use diabetes for profit. I want to strangle someone, scream and pound the wall. But I’m actually too spaced out. I check my blood sugar every 5 minutes and gratefully watch the numbers on my meter rise in slow steady increments. When I hit 5.5 I relax.

I had no idea, I don’t know what I was thinking…. but I had no idea

Slow steady breaths definitely helped. Stretching out on my mat the next day also helped. Putting my hands together at my heart at the end of my practice just that little bit longer to acknowledge the absolute precious gift of life… that’s helped as well.

But really I don’t know how we can ever recover from the circumstances we find ourselves in until there is a cure. As someone said recently ” Insulin does not solve the problem”

So what does?

Knowing I am not in this alone and that there are millions just like me, doing their best to meet the challenges every day with courage, strength, and grace!

If you’d like to make a difference in the life of someone living with diabetes please consider donating to any one of these amazing charities.

Beyondtype1,  We are Diabetes,  The Betes,  T1international,  Diabetes Sisters

DIY Yoga

I’m someone who learns on the fly. When anyone ever asks me how I learned to do anything in the age of the internet I’m not shy to admit I google. Just yesterday my publisher asked me for a fact sheet. What the heck is a fact sheet? So I googled… now I know what a fact sheet is!

A few days ago I watched a webinar on how to create a Facebook group. In the first 5 minutes, I was introduced to Liz and Jean and given this scenario. What If I could win a million dollars by assembling an Ikea bed in 30 minutes. If you’ve never bought anything from Ikea bear with me.

noah-ark-ikea A million dollars? That could come in handy right ?

So here’s the thing… Would I hire Liz? pictured in a foreman’s hat with a clip board, Liz is an expert in Ikea bed assembly. Or would I rather be Jean? pictured with hands pressed heavily into her temples and looking worried and try to do it myself.

Which would you choose?

It would make sense to hire Liz if it meant winning a million dollars. But here’s the thing… If I can master something that seems almost impossible it means I can do anything. And that includes managing my life with diabetes. The more obstacles I can overcome the more capable I feel. So when I master something like MailChimp,  MailChimp for me is like trying to assemble an Ikea bed, I feel like super woman!

super girl

It’s the same with my yoga practice.

When I started yoga we didn’t have google. There was just me, my mat and a book called ‘Light on Yoga’ by B.K.S Iyengar. In the book, Mr. Iyengar, one of the modern fathers of yoga, demonstrates poses that look near impossible to execute. But being young and enthusiastic I tried them anyway. And slowly with determination, I mastered each pose and birthed my first home practice. Having a daily appointment with my mat, instilled discipline, self-care and the ability to feel into what was needed.

So even though I encourage my students to come to class, I’d actually rather they had a home practice. The more you can motivate yourself the better you’ll feel about yourself and your ability to do anything you set your mind too.

Today’s yoga practice for the online yoga challenge, Better Diabetes Management in 7 Steps with Yoga has been all about simple moves to increase circulation, something you can do at home every day. If you’d like to join us it’s not too late just head here

with great respect…

Rachel

Grateful I am alive in spite of diabetes

Yesterday I did my first presentation for Yoga teachers on how to meet the needs of someone living with diabetes in a yoga class. It was a long and carefully thought out presentation. I wanted to cover a landscape which is unknown, often treacherous and has, to be brutally honest, no happy endings. At the end of the session, I opened it up to the audience for questions.

The first one?

Do you see what’s happened to you as a blessing?

I am sure the look on my face said it all.

Having a baby was a blessing
Meeting my husband was a blessing
Discovering yoga… a blessing

Type 1 diabetes? Not so much…

Later when everyone else had left she stayed behind. She was curious to know how I had come to terms with a condition that obviously was not something I chose or even wanted?

I shared that when I finally comprehended that I had type 1 diabetes, (it took me 6 years to find out that that was what I had) I felt relieved. Finally, I had an answer to the varied and confusing symptoms that not one health practitioner or medical doctor seemed to understand. But understanding what was wrong with me didn’t mean that relief translated into silver linings and rainbows.

It reminded me of when I was little and my mom used to try to get me to swallow a pill. I used to hunker down, screw up my face and flat out refuse. I’d rather die than swallow one of those damn things. So instead I’d take medicine in liquid form, or a suppository or even a skin cream.

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Eventually, though that damn pill didn’t come in any other form and I had to face my fears and swallow. It took guts, willpower and a lot of love and encouragement from my mom to take that pill.

Now I swallow like a pro.

That’s how it felt when I finally let go and accepted my diagnosis. I swallowed it whole.

And I still do….

Every day I wake up and roll with the punches…

Like today when my reading is higher than I’d like it to be and I know that it’s better to accept than fight. So I do my yoga practice…and smile at my husband because he has my back

…and take as much time as I need to be grateful…

Grateful I am alive in spite of diabetes

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What if there was an easy way to feel better, have extra confidence and be more relaxed about managing your diabetes?

Yoga absolutely helped me and I’m convinced it can help you too

Join me on September 1, 2017 for my free yoga challenge

”  Better Diabetes Management in 7 steps with Yoga”

With great respect…Rachel

Obviously I love Yoga

Blogging about Diabetes isn’t always easy. Sometimes I find my momentum waning. Like this week, when my email crashed and my camera wouldn’t load data onto my computer and my blood sugars decided to go up for no known reason.

I guess what I am trying to say here is that even though I want to quit… diabetes never does!

I find it fascinating to think that this disease has been with us for who knows how long. In India, they’ve been treating diabetes for over 5000 years!

When I went to India, just after my diagnosis (literally 3 days after) the cook at the retreat center where I was staying worked diligently with me to keep my blood sugar in range. Back then we didn’t know it was type 1, but the things she did worked. I ate something called Bitter Gourd every day, drank potions, modified my diet and massaged myself daily with sesame oil, Abhyanga, to relax my nervous system.

One of the most challenging things for anyone who has to mimic the action of their own pancreas is to keep stress to a minimum. Those initial days in India helped me to establish a daily routine with food and exercise…Yoga being the biggest support.

Like everyone else, it’s not easy to stay motivated, I find that when I step onto my mat it takes a few moves before I’m in the zone. I can’t say I directly notice an instant effect on my blood sugars from the practice but I do believe it trickles down. Overall my levels are stable and manageable because the practices of yoga enable to me to relax and be myself.

Obviously, I love yoga!

Goa Shoot (12 of 18)

What if there was an easy way to feel better, have extra confidence and be more relaxed about managing your diabetes?

Yoga absolutely helped me and I’m convinced it can help you too

Join me on September 1, 2017 for my free yoga challenge

”  Better Diabetes Management in 7 steps with Yoga”

With great respect…Rachel