Learning to colour outside the lines

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Yesterday we went for another delicious walk along our wild coastline to a pristine river. This time I was prepared for the inevitable hypo. It paid off. I hypo’d, downed 3 glucose gummies and in 10 minutes was back on track. It was deeply satisfying to know I handled the whole thing without freaking out.

It was in bed this morning having a D & M ( deep and meaningful) with my husband that I realised that managing diabetes is like trying to get good grades. As a kid I worked hard to get an A. I was more of a B+ kind of student but I knew that if I studied hard and went that extra mile I could do better. I liked the feeling of mastering the challenge. It meant getting my head around tricky hard to understand subjects and being rewarded for my effort.

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When I go off track in my diabetes management it’s not that it’s the end of the world, or that I won’t survive, its more that the goal I set for myself of staying in range is challenged. Taking my basal shot an hour later, or eating my dinner late, these things won’t make me sick, but they’ll change the landscape of the days to come. Questions like; will I need more or less insulin to manage the change in routine, how will my energy levels be, what should I eat? Things people without diabetes don’t even have to consider. It’s the mental energy needed to dissect the situation that can be frustrating and confusing.

It’s easier just to stick to my routine and forget about it.

Life however needs to be lived in full colour. 2020 for me is all about pushing the edges of my own ideas about management. These long nature hikes are part of it. As is experimenting with when to dose. I’ve taken to dosing at the start of a higher carb meal (I used to dose at the end of the meal) and am seeing less of a post meal spike (duh) and also seeing a flatter line up until my next meal. I may not have as good an A1c as I did mid 2019, but I am seeing flatter lines, less spikes and better overall control.

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Learning to colour outside the lines isn’t one of my strong points when it comes to living with diabetes, but I’m giving it my best. When friends and family are along for the ride I am learning that rather than expecting them to understand what I am going though it’s up to me to understand how I react and respond to my situation. If I’m cool with stopping mid walk to treat my hypo than naturally everyone else will be too. My tendency is to feel like my condition puts out other people’s plans. It’s a myth I’m determined to bust.

As I head into my 12th year with diabetes my New Years resolutions are simple. Try new approaches to management, do things that push the boundaries and most importantly put myself first.

Wishing everyone a very Happy New Year

With great respect…

rachel

P.s these were the gummies I downed on my walk. So easy and quick, better than glucose tabs overall and actually yummy with no artificial flavours or colours or preservatives. Highly recommend them!

 

Take that diabetes!

Yesterday, somewhere above Antarctica I celebrated my diaversary, the day I was diagnosed with diabetes.  11 years ago my life took on new meaning. At the time I had no idea why or how. I was stunned, shocked and miserable. I can honestly say that 11 years later I am the happiest I’ve ever been.

My life didn’t take a turn for the better just because of diabetes, at diagnosis my marriage was also undergoing serious strain. Diabetes forced me to get real about what was and wasn’t working in my life. Anything that contributed to stress had to go.

I didn’t heal all at once, rather it happened in stages. I started by changing my diet, eating more whole foods, ditching leftovers, eating more consistently. I added Ayurvedic regimes like daily self massage, herbal tonics, sipping hot water throughout the day and making sure I was heading to bed before 10 pm. I added daily meditation and pranayama to my yoga practice, activities, like flower mandala creation, long morning walks and time to reflect. I had a space in my house where I built an altar. A place to remind myself to be grateful each and every day for life and all its gifts.

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Eventually my marriage ended and my son moved to Melbourne and it was time to sell our family home. That’s when I packed up and moved to Goa. At that point just two years post diagnosis I didn’t know that I was living with type 1 diabetes, I still thought it was type 2, or some sort of mistake. All the health practitioners I went to see insisted it couldn’t be diabetes. So I went to India hoping for respite, or even a cure.

The cure came after I met my husband, John and as I mentioned in a previous post when I discovered the profound teachings of Atma Vidya, Self-Knowledge. Being given the gift of seeing beyond my condition and circumstances as an individual changed my life permanently. It was the turning point for every single moment in my life where I had tried to lay blame. Like the idea that I had brought diabetes on myself, that there was something that I had done wrong to ‘get’ this disease either real or imagined.

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I learned that taking responsibility for every action and reaction isn’t some sort of cosmic destiny, it’s being a grown up. There is no reason ‘why’ I live with diabetes. It is what it is. It’s up to me how I live with it moving forward.

So here I am 11 years later living a life I could only have dreamed of.  So to celebrate this momentous day I say thank you. Thank you to diabetes, for my life.

See you tomorrow #NDAM #DiabetesAwarenessMonth

with great respect…

rachel

Change is coming

Today, I’m hooked on the news. Instead of scouring through my feed and picking up the latest info on diabetes, i.e. tech innovations, cure explorations or people thriving in the DOC (diabetes online community) I’m absorbing the enormity of an issue that goes way beyond personal health and wellbeing.

Our planet is broken, and the impassioned speech delivered by Greta Thunberg to the UN climate summit says it all, “This is all wrong, I shouldn’t be standing here. I should be back in school on the other side of the ocean. Yet you all come to me for hope? How dare you! … For more than 30 years the science has been crystal clear. How dare you continue to look away, and come here saying that you are doing enough, when the politics and solutions needed are still nowhere in sight?”

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And she’s right.

I will never forget the day, at 16 when my much older boyfriend sat me down to let me know that the planet and our environment was headed for disaster. He elucidated the perils of hydrofluorocarbons, greenhouse gasses and the delicate nature of our ozone layer. He told me to steel myself for the road ahead. I felt helpless, terrified and had nightmares for weeks afterwards.  But somehow, I got used to ignoring my anxiety around the issue. In the 90’s the hole in the ozone layer was just a fact. Living through 9/11 and the horrors of chemical and environmental exposure, the breakdown of my immune system and the continued fight to feel better physically in spite of the increase in pesticides in the food and water was a given.  Wasn’t everybody dealing with some sort of compromise?

In the early 90’s I tried to do my part. I built an eco-friendly mud brick home, used a composting loo, solar power and rainwater. We ate home grown veggies, supported local farmers markets and grassroots initiatives. Leaving the safety of our sustainable principles for a life in NYC in my mid 30’s was scary. I told myself it wouldn’t be forever, and I could go back my gentle connection with the earth when the timing was right.

When I did eventually return to Australia in 2004 my health had deteriorated so much that I didn’t have the energy to live so sustainably anymore. And then my diabetes diagnosis forced me to focus on my personal needs above a broader vision.

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But Greta’s speech to the UN has broken the dam. No matter what’s happening to me personally I need to act. Even if it’s just to make the yoga for diabetes community aware that this is the biggest issue of our times.

And yes, yoga and practicing yoga is supportive but it’s not going to solve the issue. The issue will turnaround when we make changes in our personal lives and come together as a whole to make a change.

As Greta concludes in her speech, “You are failing us. But the young people are starting to understand your betrayal. The eyes of all future generations are upon you. And if you choose to fail us I say we will never forgive you. We will not let you get away with this. Right here, right now is where we draw the line. The world is waking up. And change is coming, whether you like it or not.”

To find out more about the climate crisis and what you can do

https://350.org/

https://fridaysforfuture.org/

With great respect…

rachel