Stop the merry go round, I want to get off

Keeping up with social media, blogging, yoga teaching and just plain surviving is intense. As much as I love every single aspect of my life, I definitely get overwhelmed. Like today, after a night of surfing the edge of lows (6 glucose tabs later), I’m kind of a wreck.

I’ve always been good at “putting on a smile.” It comes from my dancer days when we were told that a smile is the best way to deal with a stuff up. i.e. falling on your butt.

I’m not sure smiling my way through frustration with diabetes is the answer. I should probably be doing more yoga. I do quite a bit, but I’m also teaching a lot at the moment so getting up early after a rough sleepless night means I’m sleeping in instead of groping my mat at dawn. If you don’t do yoga you’re probably thinking, jeepers Rachel give yourself a break.

And you’re right. I need a break….

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A break from diabetes would be awesome. A break from finger pricks and needle sticks. A break from counting carbs, guestimating doses, downing glucose tabs and the constant micromanagement that creates a dull ache in my brain that never ever goes away.

A break from getting letters from the DMV telling me I can’t drive without a medical assessment and the endless costs of this test and that test just to make sure I am not sliding backward. Which by the way I just found out I am. Hashimoto’s is now showing up even though ‘apparently’ my thyroid antibody count is down. ( Whatever that means…)

Like all good 21st century peeps I’ve signed up for endless free webinars and summits on thyroid and gut solutions. I’m seeing a neuroimmunologist, I’m drinking chicken bone broth, taking clean fish oil and probiotics, chlorella and I’m whole food plant based while having eggs.

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P.S If anyone gives me one more dietary guideline I’ll detonate!

And with all this endless frustration I’ve realised that I feel powerless. Powerless because chronic illness is not something that stops being chronic just because I want it to.

Chronic illness just is.

Even though I’m offloading my feelings, I also know that there are things I can do to alleviate my frustration.

Recently in a beautiful online women’s circle, the facilitator offered as an out for when we were wallowing in our emotions. Instead of saying yes to powerlessness, anger, or victimhood she reminded us to focus on going for what we loved.

When you focus on going for what you love your subconscious says yes to that.  So even if diabetes is a total downer, it doesn’t have to drag you under. A subtle shift in focus is all it takes.

Relax, I am guided and supported. My body will look after itself and find balance. You are LIGHT itself

In that spirit, I invite you to join me in this simple practice to stop the merry go round.

When you feel at your wits end with diabetes, when you feel fed up, burnt out, frustrated, spun out and overwhelmed imagine sloughing off those emotions like you would an old coat. Then step into a circle of light. In that circle are all the things you love, your creative desires, let the images come without effort. As you focus on what you love, feel yourself becoming lighter and light filled. Feel the delight and the freedom of you expressing your gifts. Then take a pen and paper and write down all the things that you felt and saw in your circle of light.

Once you’ve got it all down on paper get creative. Turn your words into a poem, a college, a song, a story. Put those words and the images in a place where you have your diabetes stuff so you are reminded to say yes to going for what you love.

Finally, trust that you are always guided and supported no matter what. Your existence is a blessing.

With great respect

rachel 

Making room for yourself

I’ve had to take a few steps back in the last few weeks from the blog. Not because I don’t have anything to say, but because there’s too much to say and I’ve needed to collect myself.

My passion is yoga and to share that in whatever form that takes. So in teaching regular classes I’ve come back to my rhythm. We all have a rhythm when we’re doing what we love. Some people like to call it flow.

For me, it’s a connection to words and images weaving together into a dance of postures. I love talking about the benefits of the poses, the power of the breath and the magic of stillness. What I love most about teaching is for most of that time I forget about diabetes. Sure I check my levels midway through class or sometimes take an injection, but mostly it’s not my focus.

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Whenever we are doing something we love and completely immersed in that it’s YOGA. Yoga means wholeness, completeness. In reality, this is our natural state we just don’t know it.  Capturing that flow state when living with chronic illness, especially diabetes is a challenge. There is way too much micromanagement involved. I’m definitely guilty of that and to be honest sometimes even doing lots of yoga doesn’t help. It can just end up being another form of escape, control, whatever!

This is where receptivity comes in. Learning to just sit, be quiet and to receive what’s actually happening in that moment. To receive the simplicity of yourself warts and all.

There is a beautiful exercise I often share in class to allow the noise of the outside world to drop away and it relates to the 5 elements, Earth, Water, Fire, Air and Space.

Click the image below and join me for this simple 5-minute practice to stop, breathe and receive the beauty of yourself and the moment simply as it is.

With great respect…

rachel

For the love of a body

I’ve never been someone to feel at home in my body. For as long as I can remember I’ve dealt with feelings of discomfort. The feeling that everything that’s supposed to work in the usual way doesn’t. Digestion, breathing, and vital organs. I’m pretty sure the whole shebang was caused by the sudden death of my mother when I was 11, but I also remember a time before that when my mom threatened to use an enema bag on me when I refused to go to the toilet. I was terrified that my body wouldn’t do what it was ‘supposed’ to do.

Feeling frustrated and disconnected from one’s body isn’t unusual. It seems to be a general trend especially now with autoimmune and chronic health conditions on the rise. When we are conditioned to be comfortable living through our smartphones and laptops. Where productivity and quantity matter more than quality of life. Where we’ve forgotten the vital ingredient for existence. A body.

Stop, take a breath, think. How would you be reading this blog if you didn’t have a body, how would you be able to eat your lunch, without a body? How could you do anything without your body!

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Photo by Rodolfo Sanches Carvalho on Unsplash

As a dancer from a young age, I grew up understanding that my body was an instrument to be pressed and moulded into shape, to be moved into submission. Starved and folded, propelled and pulled my body had to be perfect. In my eyes, this seemed impossible. There were so many imperfections from flat feet to short legs to rounded bits where there should have been bones. So as a teenager I went to war with my body. Expecting the impossible.

Learning to suppress my feelings about my body became the norm for me. As long as I didn’t pay attention it wasn’t there. I longed to feel more comfortable and healthy, but it always felt out of reach.

And then I found Yoga. Yoga changed my life and my relationship with my body. When I first tried the practice I felt awkward, embarrassed, it was nothing like a plie at the barre or a jump on center stage. It was precision, alignment, breath, extension. A feeling of swoosh and whoosh as organs came back to life. It was release and relaxation. Tension easing. And the biggest takeaway was the malleability of the muscles and ligaments. For the first time in my life, my body felt fluid, I literally changed the shape of my muscles.

When I went to an audition for a dance company the year after I started practicing yoga the choreographer mentioned how my dancing had changed. How I moved more gracefully and my physique was lithe. It was nice to be acknowledged but it also terrified me. What if I couldn’t keep it up or worse what if my body failed me altogether.

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Many years later it did. Type 1 diabetes takes no prisoners. I have never felt more let down by my body than on the day of my diagnosis. It hurt, it really did.

Climbing out of a hole is no easy feat. I know I’m not the only one who lives with a chronic illness or has had to face the reality of a body that isn’t functioning as it should. It takes courage to see things for what they are. To let go of blaming oneself or feeling ashamed of doing something that may have caused the breakdown.

I am reminded of a story told by W. Timothy Gallway

“When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice that it is small, but we do not criticize it as “rootless and stemless.” We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment required of a seed. When it first shoots up out of the earth, we don’t condemn it as immature and underdeveloped; nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear. We stand in wonder at the process taking place and give the plant the care it needs at each stage of its development. The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies. Within it, at all times, it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change; yet at each state, at each moment, it is perfectly all right as it is.

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Photo by Henrique Ferreira on Unsplash

Learning to see the body for what it is, is the first step in coming back to body love. It’s your vehicle, your temple, the altar upon which you are able to experience the wonder of creation. It has given you 5 senses to enjoy your surroundings. It has given you a heart to love, lungs to breathe. The ability to experience pleasure, sensuality and the depth of connection. As a woman, you gestate and nurture life, as a man you help to create life. Everybody is unique, a love bomb exploding with passionate expression. Whether healthy or ill, you the enjoyer occupy the body, one of a kind and yet inexorably part of the whole. Take yourself out of creation and the whole creation is incomplete. Watching the dancer nothing gets added to the dancer in the dance.

Loving others comes easily, not loving ourselves can seem like the core issue. I truly believe that in a life with chronic illness trying to ‘love” ourselves can feel too much like a concept. So instead of beating yourself up about not loving yourself enough or that you lack self-love.  Try this simple visualisation practice below….

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You can record this in your own voice so you can practice it without reading it.

Take a comfortable seat and close your eyes. Imagine that you are walking in a forest. In the middle of the forest, you see a clearing. Step into the clearing and just be present with all your senses alert. Notice what’s in the clearing. What do you see? How does it make you feel? Now gaze intently at the circle of trees surrounding the clearing and imagine that behind each tree is a role, a persona, something you tell yourself about your diabetes or chronic issue, something you tell yourself about your body. Imagine calling those identities, thoughts and roles to come out from behind the trees and call them back to you. As they come to you embrace them. Recognizing them for what they are thoughts, ideas, identities, beliefs, projections. Things that you’ve given energy to. Call them back and let them dissolve in your heart. You are not the beliefs, or ideas about your body. You can never be what you have. You have thoughts about your body. Your thoughts cannot be you. As you recall all these fractured parts of yourself notice how it feels to embrace them and integrate them. Keep calling out to the identities behind the trees until there are none left. Once each one has found its home in you. Imagine yourself filling from your toes to your crown with pure golden light. Pure gold, impenetrable light. Feel your body, strong, resilient, calm and centered. Notice how this makes you feel. Keep feeling the strength of this gold light feeding every cell, bringing you back to total body harmony. Take as long as you need to bask in this light. Then when you are ready. Gently open your eyes and come back to normal waking consciousness…

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Photo by Henrique Ferreira on Unsplash

May the light of who you are be the reminder that gives you the courage to meet every day exactly as it is.

With great respect…

rachel

The Good and the not so good

Who I am I kidding I am not at all sad to say goodbye to 2018. Yes, it was a year of many milestones, such as continuing to launch the book and creating an online summit, not to mention getting my BG levels under control.

But that doesn’t mean I was running around with a 24/7 grin on my face.

It’s been a year of tightening the reins, learning to say no, reaching out for help even when I was ashamed too, accepting that situations aren’t always how one imagines and giving myself a break.

And I know I haven’t been the only one plowing through in 2018. Most everyone I’ve spoken to says it’s been a tough one. Tough externally and internally.

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Luckily I have a gratitude practice. I’ve learned to focus on what’s working and to acknowledge that. Gratitude for me can be as simple as an internal thank you when something goes my way, engaging in a creative endeavor like writing, painting or singing or landing on my mat so I can let go and feel all the feels.

Gratitude is also about acknowledging the individuals and support groups that truly make my day and remind me that even though sometimes it feels like things are just too tough to bear, there are others just like me facing this condition with courage and tenacity.

Together we rise!

So as I bid farewell to 2018 here are some lessons learned

  • When in doubt reach out. People are ready and willing to help
  • Find out what people want before you create it
  • Do what you do best
  • Living simply is a blessing
  • It’s okay to rest
  • If you can’t give materially give of yourself
  • Learn to listen
  • Reuse, recycle, waste nothing
  • Tell your friends you are grateful for their friendship often
  • Be in Nature
  • Cry when you need to and make sure you get in some good belly laughter too
  • When things feel overwhelming do one task that you know will yield results
  • Eat well and sleep well
  • Turn a hobby into a skill that you can use to serve others
  • Seed an idea without expectation
  • Develop a physical or mental focusing practice that you can repeat daily to bring a sense of meaning and purpose to your life

Happy New year! (2)

Wishing everyone a wonderful and blessed  2019

with great respect…

rachel

 

You Got This!

It’s Christmas Eve here in Australia. Last year we were in The US with my family. We’d spent days shopping for presents, dressing the tree and the turkey and enjoying the snow and the cold. It was a personal cause for celebration with the launch of my book and the promise of many events and launches to come. I remember thinking how lucky I was to be with my family, to feel safe and supported and to be able to live my mission in the world.

As the year has unfolded it’s been full of incredible highs and difficult lows. As much as I’ve enjoyed traveling to share yoga throughout America and Australia it’s also been challenging. I live with a chronic illness, and staying on top of my health while living in a different place every few weeks has forced me to reflect and pause and think about how I want to begin the new year.

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My goal in Jan 2018 was to start taking insulin for meals. I’d started to notice my basal was no longer covering what I was eating. Plus I didn’t think I could take one more mouthful of greens, greens, and only greens.

I took the plunge with great support from some of my diabuddies plus testing out the MySugr app with diabetes coach Gary Schiener. After working out my insulin to carb ratio, when to inject and how to treat lows with glucose tabs ( I did some testing on how much glucose I need to raise levels in 10 minutes) it all came together.

A few months into the regime my diabetes educator said that my body responded well to mealtime insulin and it appeared more predictable than my body’s response to basal insulin ( I’ve really struggled to get that dose right).

A few months later when my A1c was the lowest it’s been since diagnosis (5.9%), she poured over my data to make sure I wasn’t living in the land of lows (which I wasn’t) and then finally last week my doctor declared I must still be producing some insulin and honeymooning because my A1c is holding steady.

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Go figure 10 years on. I know it’s the yoga and breathing and discipline with diet but shhh…. Don’t tell!

But just because I’ve managed to smash my A1c goal for the year doesn’t mean it’s all unicorns and rainbows. As much as I want to share all the good stuff here on the blog I also want to be real.

What you see on FB or Instagram doesn’t show the 24/7 reality. There is exhaustion, pain, and emotions, like anxiety, feelings of failure, overwhelm, insecurity, grief, and loss.

There are moments where I don’t want to write one more word on the page.

As much as I feel these feelings ( I know this is not just me but basically everyone) I’m also capable of rising above them through knowing that feelings are just thoughts I’ve entertained and given momentum too. No matter what the thought, good or bad, it’s just a thought. As quickly as it comes it will go.

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So what’s my go-to when I am feeling absolutely exhausted or overwhelmed?

I do one thing that brings me comfort and one task I know I need to get done to work towards a set goal. It could be as simple as making myself my favorite lunch (baked sweet potato and pumpkin salad with Haloumi) and then answering a work-related email or creating a flyer for my next event and then going for a walk.

Whatever those two things are in committing to them I find myself relaxing, returning to my center and able to gather more energy for the next task.

As the year turns over into 2019 my wish for everyone is to know you are not alone when it comes to living with diabetes. No matter how tough it gets, or how challenged you are, there is hope and support. For me its Yoga, for you it might be something else. No matter what it is. You got this! If I can do it so can you.

Wishing you a truly beautiful holiday season. You are a precious gift!

Namaste and with great respect…

Rachel

From our family to yours,

You Are That

The other day I was scrolling through Facebook and I was captivated by a song. Within minutes my toes were tapping, my body was swaying and I was humming along. Listening was pure bliss and total happiness. At that moment I forgot myself, my life with diabetes or anything else for that matter.

The benefits of yoga are many, however, the benefits are not just the product of targeted exercise or the marrying of mind, breath, and body.

They are the direct result of choosing to immerse yourself in a focussed activity that momentarily suspends the idea you have of yourself. That idea is a conglomeration of a lifetime of experiences, conditioning, and beliefs. In psychological terms, it is referred to as your identity.  When our identity is suspended and we are no longer identified we feel blissful, Ananda, because we are the bliss.

Bliss is not a state-it’s the nature of awareness and who you are.

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So what is your bliss? Is it music, dancing, cooking, laughing, being outdoors, playing with friends? Whatever is blissful is only blissful because of you.

Let that sink in for a moment.

It’s easy with this condition to focus on what isn’t bliss.

Like daily finger pricks, site fails, too many lows and highs, carb guesses, medical costs the never-ending 24/7 vigilance of a condition we didn’t ask for and can’t get away from that leads to burnout, depression, and anxiety

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But that kind of focus, the one where we naturally go isn’t doing anyone any favors

I’ll say it again.

Whatever you see as blissful is only blissful because of YOU. Without you, there is no bliss.

The next time you do something you love, and you find yourself forgetting everything and you are swept up in the magic of just being.

Stop and remember yourself.  YOU ARE THAT.

with great respect…

rachel

Want to bliss out? Check out my yoga playlist on Spotify curated especially for you. Click the image below or head here

Bold Freedom Through Time Mastery

Today I’d like to introduce you to Lesley O’Brien. Like me Lesley is passionate about Ayurveda. She has just written a book which is about integrating Ayurveda into your daily life. Check out her guest post on the blog and her special offer at the end of the post. Take it away Lesley… 

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When we first discover Ayurveda it’s a thrilling experience of revelation. We get to know how our body works in a whole new light.  Understanding what’s going on in our physiology according to Ayurveda’s knowledge of circadian rhythms brings relief because it makes sense.  We realize we can impact our health, reverse engineer and return to some semblance of I feel better in myself.

Yet after a while, Ayurveda can become confusing – when you hit the limitations of the popular Dosha categorizing system. Dosha opens the door to Ayurveda but if you remain at that level trying to fit everything impacting on you into the categories of Vata, Pitta, and Kapha you’ll get stuck going in circles.

Often a Doshic body type questionnaire will reveal your Vikruti and what needs balancing rather than your constitution as such, called Prakruti. Constitution or body type shouldn’t be measured by things that change like moods or how many times you pass a stool a day. Your body type is stable and best measured by factors about your physicality that don’t change. The more you attune your body type to natural rhythms and how and when it was designed to function, to digest, to sleep to move, then the further you are from disease formation.

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Ayurveda considers poor digestion as the primary cause of conditions like diabetes and calls the pre-diabetic metabolic phase Prameha. Weak digestion leads to toxic residue called Ama and it can accumulate in the pancreas impairing the production of insulin.

The aim of Ayurveda is to align body and mind in the environment. You’ll know this has happened for you when you have one of those ‘good days’! You’ll feel lighter, clearer and have more energy when you’ve supported the 20% impact you can have on the health of your constitution, and adjusted with your surroundings simultaneously. You do it through every substance you choose to take in through your five senses: through what you eat, drink, listen to and watch. It’s called epigenetics and you have enough control over the effects to either trigger dis-ease or recover from it to varying degrees depending on circumstances.

While in clinic practice I realised that there was something missing about how to help patients with the positive health potential of adopting Ayurveda’s lifestyle habits called Dinacharya. My patients wanted to be pain free and sustain a level of health they could self-manage at home every day. I wanted this for them too and I knew I needed more routine to lean into in my own life for sustained energy, yet we don’t DO things that are imposed on us consistently enough to get results. And we hit the shadow issues like the rebel or the control freak when we take on more than is reasonably doable given our circumstances. After studying behavioural science and researching efficiency for business, I developed the Bold Freedom method, aligning health science with the techniques needed to show up and take self-care every day.

There need to be elements of time management, relationship alignment and a conducive environment in any nutrition or movement method for real success in wellbeing. It’s the way to get deep, lasting results we can repeat and don’t have to rely on a weekly dose from a health pro to keep going. When all aspects of our being are supported through a complete method like Bold Freedom, integrity is graced.  Our home and work space, our calendars our diet all become conducive to a healthier lifestyle.

One of the secrets to finding more free time in your day is to create space – physical space and head space!

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Start with when you eat dinner. Eating dinner before the sun goes down fits in with how your body was designed to function best. You’re a primate and your bile is best at lunchtime for a main meal then. Having dinner before dark leads gracefully into earlier to bed and allows for waking without stiffness or a groggy head. When you eat dinner earlier, you naturally detox overnight while you sleep. You wake ready to eliminate the toxic residue (Ama) and start the day spacious and ready.

You may not need MORE food or sleep as much as you need to change when you eat and rest! The aim is to wisely use the time and energy you already have first. When you see your average week on paper, it’s glaringly obvious where you’ve misaligned with when you eat, and that maybe you’re overscheduled and stressed about things. This exercise can lead you to better decisions which create more abundance in so many areas of your life.

You have so much more control over finding more time and getting more energy than you might realise. It can take months to automate your daily routine and a year to get the household aligned! Remember you’re continually growing and refining. It gets better day after day after day.

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In essence, the Bold Freedom method guides you to write out how you use your time now. It encourages you to state your big lofty vision for the year – something that connects you with your body type and so what you’re created for. Then doable action steps get scheduled.

Looking at how you currently use your time is fascinating and sometimes embarrassing! Bold Freedom will help you create a space that’s conducive to how you want to live.

For example, if you want to exercise there needs to be a solid decision about whether you’ll exercise in the living room or garden or gym and what time of day you’ll show up.

When we don’t plan the action the words and ideas go around in heads as stressful pressure and we don’t think we can trust ourselves because we haven’t done what we said we’d do!

It’s vital we shed all that brings a sense of stress if we want to be healthy. It’s only when we’re easeful can we shed the Ama that keeps us clogged and unwell.

We can’t truly heal one area of life without affecting other areas of our life, because they’re interrelated, just like all the aspects of our physiology. If you truly get healthy circulation then your skin glow will improve.  Yet I’ve seen people get amazing developments at work but who are tired and can’t perform at the next level and be present for that growth. There’s a disconnect!

It’s vital to an easeful successful life that body and mind in the environment be strengthened and cleared simultaneously. Dinacharya is the best way to do that –it’s time well used in developing a foundational wellness to thrive from. When we wake early, hydrate, move, breathe, poop and scrape our tongues we rid the Ama from yesterday, we build our immunity and a whole new day of Bold Freedom begins.

“Who do you know who’s ‘too busy’? Give them the gift of healthy slower days. Order them a copy of BOLD Freedom when you order yours. FREE shipping.” 

lesley Obrien

Lesley O’Brien – Ayurvedic Medicine Practitioner: Herbal medicine, Nutrition, Massage therapy.
Lover of stand up paddle-boarding, bike riding, re-bounding, Yoga & wholefood cooking. Past volunteer firefighter.

I’ve helped people from as young 2 years of age to 93 years with a broad range of health conditions, such as chronic fatigue, acne, arthritis, and Parkinson’s disease. I’m constantly impressed by the human body’s ability to heal, to find a place where it’s pain-free and able to thrive. www.ayurbotanicals.com.au

 

It’s Okay To Receive

I’ve just made up a new word. It’s “GIVITUDE”

Givitude is when you find a way to make your gratitude a gift.

Giving is natural. From smiling at a stranger to donating to a cause, most of us without even thinking about it give in little ways every day. How many times have you opened a door for someone, offered directions, taking a partners hand, or called a friend just to listen?

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When I consciously give and my gift is received I find myself falling into gratitude. Gratitude that I could help someone feel better, learn something new or overcome a challenge. I don’t give expecting something in return rather I know that the giving will give me gratitude and the gratitude I feel will inspire more giving.

In the diabetes community giving seems to be a given. When I first reached out online to tell my story and ask for help I had over 25 replies in five minutes. Those five minutes changed everything. I went from feeling isolated and anxious to feeling seen, held and supported. I remember being overwhelmed with gratitude and longing to meet each person who had responded to my call for help. My next thought was what can I do for them? How can I show my gratitude?

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The answer… it’s okay to receive.

When someone gives you a gift it’s yours to receive. Think of it as creation, giving to you in the form of that person, situation or experience. In fact, when you analyze it, creation is giving everything to us all the time. The air we breathe, the ability to breathe, the trees that keep our atmosphere balanced, the earth which enables seeds to grow into trees, the sun which brings life and light to all things.  It’s all going on effortlessly.  Isn’t it amazing that we are free to enjoy creations gifts?

When I first found yoga my body went through some radical upgrades. I became stronger, lighter and more flexible and I was surprised at how resilient it made me. I changed my diet and rested more. I took my time and immersed myself in nature.  Time took on a different quality and I was more content. It was because of these simple gifts that I decided to become a teacher. The benefits of the practice were tangible and I wanted to share.

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Not much has changed other than now that I live with diabetes, I feel an urgency to share. Yoga was my lifeline in dealing with the crippling anxiety of starting insulin and my rock when I felt overwhelmed and alone.

Since coming out of isolation it’s been my mission to enable people to feel happy, healthy and free in spite of living with this chronic condition. I truly see yoga as the key to that and the greatest gift.

This Thanksgiving I invite you to take a moment for yourself. Receive your breath, feel your heartbeat, your ability to love, give and receive.

And… if you’d like to bring more yoga into your life join me in this downward dog for all levels in the video below.

with great respect….

rachel

Yoga; Beware All Ye who Enter.

My personal journey with diabetes was one of misdiagnosis and denial. It took me years to accept my diagnosis. When I did, my first step was to reach out and  find people like me who also practiced yoga. In the beginning, there weren’t many, but as my reach increased I found a community of practitioners and teachers thriving because of yoga. Anastasia Yatras is one of those lights. Her story is absolute gold and so inspiring! I can’t wait for you to read it. Take it away Anastasia

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In the grunge era of the 90’s, pre Instagram and Facebook, Yoga wasn’t as widespread as it is today. Back then, there was a clear division between alternative culture and the mainstream. In 1992, Yoga, along with shaved under cuts, sat absolutely in the first category.

In 1992, a university friend had invited me to yoga, in Newtown, Sydney, with the hook line that “Yoga made you sleep better”. As my life was a demanding schedule of missed lectures, all -nighters and endless rounds of stove- top coffee, I was intrigued.

With no idea what I was in for, (remember there was no You Tube Yoga back then), the exposed brick yoga room, felt austere.  The mysterious props including belts and wooden blocks, inexplicable. There may as well have been a sign above our Birkenstock sandals at the entrance, “Beware all ye who enter.”

To my novice ears, we were guided by elusive phrases such as “…outer skirt of the heel” and “something..something…asana”. I rushed to perform handstand with the grunt of an NRL player, breathing hard and fast, so as not to topple sideways with my jellied elbows. Lying with a wooden block underneath my shrieking sacrum (no foam bricks as yet), it felt akin to a medieval torture.

Yet, within the insufferably long silences, there it was, the gold; the gradual realisation that awareness could move to different parts of the body. It could be held there, diffuse or sharp pointed, and more so, it could be directed from the outside, in.

Those poses were a tangible reflection, not just of my body, but of something more profound, deeper still.

My friend didn’t return to Yoga. I never left.

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Diagnosis.

My relationship with Diabetes began 12 months before my official diagnosis. Tragically, in 1997, my then boyfriend’s dad, collapsed into a three day diabetic coma, until finally discovered by his second son.  A talented illustrator for Hanna and Barbara cartoons, I loved this man’s hallway- a veritable fortress of VHS cassettes.  For then reasons unknown, I studied the literature on diabetes, left abandoned by his dining room side table.

Precisely 12 months later, recalling those very symptoms I had read about, (excess thirst-tick, excess urination-tick, affected eyesight- tick), I took myself to the medical centre. “I think I have diabetes!” I pronounced, somewhat proud of my self-diagnostic abilities.  A blood test there and then showed a reading of 26 mmol/L and so off to the Illawarra Diabetes Service, I went, where I was shown how to inject with oranges.

It was November of 1998, the very year I had enrolled as an Iyengar Teacher trainee in the Blue Mountains, west of Sydney. Upon my teacher’s advice, I took time off to “lay low”.  Upon returning to teacher training, I was unable to focus. “You look haunted” my teacher said. “Go home”. Yet, he also said, diabetes gave my yoga purpose. Through the nebulousness of my grief, I recognised the truth of those words. That Yoga was the big circle and diabetes was a smaller one within it and not the other way around.

Gradually, I began to see Yoga as a tool which could reframe how I saw diabetes; that I could bear a positive impact upon it rather than it all being a negative impact on me. Of course, it was a slow journey, full of trials, errors, failures and loneliness. No one else in class was worrying about their sugars testing frequently, afraid equally of an embarrassing hypo or of having to inject in full view.

Half Moon Pose

Turning Point.

In 2002, I was chosen as the diabetic student for a Sydney medical Yoga workshop given by the wonderful Iyengar teachers, Swati and Rajiv Chanchanni. This experience gave me a clear, systematic and confidence boosting framework which I continue to use to this day in my practice.

From the Iyengar perspective, it was taught that the pancreas needed to be taken through its full range of motion.

So, from a diseased organ, I realised my pancreas, was in fact, profoundly intelligent cellular tissue, fully capable of responding to precise adaptations within the regular poses, turbo charging blood flow and, equally, maximising relaxation and quietness of mind.

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali speak of Yoga as a means to cease the fluctuations of mind. This is my standard operating procedure when checking my blood sugar levels, when heading off a high reading or a hypo.  To respond neutrally as possible which doesn’t equally translate as complacency.

Yoga is also defined as skill in action, something which as diabetics, we are constantly asked to practice, every waking and sleeping moment of our lives, it seems!

However, as my teacher Pixie Lillas says, we are not merely given the end destination in Yoga (good health, a quiet mind.). Yoga gives us the tools to get there.

anastasia

BIO
For the past 20 years, Anastasia’s Yoga practice has revolutionized her approach to living with Type 1 Diabetes. She began Yoga in 1992 where it fully resolved her dancer’s knee injury. At 26 years of age, in 1998, Anastasia embarked on two major life journeys. Iyengar Yoga Teacher training AND a diabetes diagnosis. Following the medical principles developed by world renown teacher of Yoga, B.K.S Iyengar, Anastasia has maintained HBA1C (averaged blood sugar levels)  of normal range (5-6mmol/L).

you can connect with Anastasia here 

Yoga makes the difference

Diabetes sucks. I know I’ve said it before but this time I really really mean it. And it’s not just because of the endless needle pricks, the shaky blood sugars, the near-death episodes or dietary issues. It’s the financial side. Why does having diabetes cost so much? I get choked up when I hear about how people are rationing their insulin, how insurance companies change what type of rapid or long-acting you have insurance for against your best interests or that in some countries people walk miles to take just one shot a day because of lack of refrigeration in their homes.

Things I take for granted here in Australia like subsidized insulin and test strips are nonexistent in other parts of the world. So I know I should be grateful. And I am.

But sometimes I need to vent. Because diabetes comes with a price. Knowing I have to keep some funds aside each week to cover my test strips means keeping to a tight budget.  And that’s not accounting for a week of lows where I use test strips like candy. It often means saying no to something I’d love to do so I can live well another day.

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I’m a girl with a mission. Yoga is my lifeline. I am convinced it’s the reason why I have managed my health so well in spite of my diabetes.  It has given me a positive outlook and a wealth of stress management tools. Writing the book has been my way of giving back. But writing a book and having a mission doesn’t mean life is all rainbows and unicorns. It takes hard work, dedication, consistency and total conviction to bring a project like that to fruition.

And here’s the thing…

The more I push myself out there, the harder I work to share,  the more I am seeing that people living with any type of diabetes aren’t jumping up and down about yoga.  You know what they say in marketing? You find your ideal client by touching their deepest longing. The biggest faux pas is creating a product no one wants. Even worse is creating something they don’t even know they need.

Enter Yoga, the new kid on the block in diabetes management. Will medical institutions endorse it? Will the media expound it’s benefits? Will bloggers and podcasters rave about it?

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Eventually yoga for diabetes will go mainstream.

I know that a simple yoga practice makes the difference. I for one am going to keep creating quality content for you. Things you can do today that will make a difference to the numbers on your meter, to the way you feel about your diabetes and even more importantly how you relate to your health and wellbeing in general.

Even 5 minutes of a consistent yoga practice can make a huge difference to your day.

So… what’s on offer this week? A FREE 20 minute yoga practice designed to reduce stress.

All you have to do is click this link and you’ll get it in your inbox straight away.

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I can’t wait for you to join me

with great respect…

rachel