The Inner Smile

Happy Solstice! Today we woke up in the dark and marvelled at Venus, Jupiter, Mars and Saturn all lined up in an ark across the dawn sky. We watched the sun rise as she blanketed the earth with her golden hues.

I built an altar to the hindu goddess Lakshmi who for me represents abundance in health. I invoked her for nourishment and as a prayer that we as a human race come out of this very challenging time with a new vision, where every human being is treated with fairness and dignity. Where we cherish the earth and its plants and animals. That we can forgive each other for our ignorance and find strength in common goals. That those of us who struggle daily with illness find acceptance and strength.

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These prayers fill my heart daily. As much as I can contribute through my actions to worthy causes like supporting our local village here in South Africa to have food during this humanitarian crisis. I also find that daily offerings and prayers allow me to humble myself to what is out of my control.

This week I shared a meditation in my online yoga class which was taught to me by my mentor Alan Finger. It’s called the Inner Smile meditation and it’s a beautiful way to reset the nervous system simply by placing a smile in different parts of your body. The meditation includes relaxation in Savasana ( lying down) at the end.

Enjoy!

with great respect…

rachel

15 minutes I can do

I’ve been setting the timer on my phone to 15 minutes a lot lately. 15 minutes to pre-bolus, 15 minutes to wait out a hypo, 15 minutes of yoga and meditation practices no matter what.

Before I was diagnosed I absolutely hated time. I never wore a watch or even looked at my phone. Even as a kid I never wanted to learn to tell the time. Why be constrained by a limitation like that?

Everything had more validity to me when time wasn’t involved. Why does anything ever have to end? Like a yummy meal, or time with a beloved or friend, a day at the beach. Maybe my abhorrence of time has to do with losing my mother at a young age. Having to face endings for me was complicated and traumatic. Being forced to rush through something felt unnerving. As a dancer I was bound by time and timing, but it never bothered me, because the timing of the music, or the timing of the movements to the music uplifted me, reminding me that all creative endeavours are happening in the presence of timelessness. Not that I could put that into words when I was dancing. It was something that touched me and made me cry with inexplicable joy.

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By the time I was nine my grandfather insisted I learn to tell the time. He bought me a Timex with a red strap. We went painstakingly through the details of the big hand and the little hand, what all the numbers meant and what each part of the day represented. My mum bought me a digital clock which rolled over numbers like cards. And then I got a clock radio, even cooler because I could wake up to music.

After I met and started traveling with my husband we would wander through international airports looking at expensive watches. He’d point out all the brands. I knew nothing about Panerai and Patek Philipe. I didn’t even know the difference between a Swatch and a Tissot. When I would badger my husband to tell me what time it was he would say, “you need a watch darling” and I’d reply, “my smartphone is good thanks.”

Then one day when I was stuck in an airport on my own, I decided to splurge. If I was going to buy a watch it would have to be the purchase of a lifetime. I decided on a gold Tissot with Roman numerals and a simple link band. I’ve only taken it off a handful of times since then. When I point at my watch to tell my husband, “it’s dinner time, lunch time, time to go, time to clean, time to ‘whatever’” he likes to chide and say, “I wish I’d never mentioned you needed a watch”.

Watches aside, time has changed my life.

Recently I’ve been navigating some soul crushing lows. Waiting for my blood sugar to come up sends me into a wild panic. What if it doesn’t come up? What if I run out of low snacks? What if…

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Initially I set the timer on my phone to 15 minutes so that I would know when to check again. But when the lows are scarier, in the low 3’s (below 70 mg/dl) watching the minutes tick down is a lifeline. If I can stay focussed for just 15 minutes, I’ll be okay. If it levels out at the end of those 15 minutes I can relax. If it still goes down after those 15 minutes, I can take more glucose, dates etc and start again. As long as I can watch the clock I know eventually I’ll be back to compos mentis.

Knowing I have a tool to support me during a low blood sugar has absolutely changed everything. I have a deep-seated fear of lows. It’s why I insisted on sticking to a regimented low carb diet for 7 years. It’s why I timed every single part of my day to avoid any deviation, and I why I would restrict my social activities.

My goal for 2020 was all about opening up to life, food and freedom. It’s been interesting to be stuck in one place while I navigate this new perspective. Asking myself…what do I want to eat?  What do I want to do today?

If I want to eat heaven in a bowl (a fruit smoothie bowl with crushed seeds and dates) I can. If I want to garden, go for a walk, do a strong yoga practice, I can. If I flub the ratios, don’t reduce my insulin enough or take too much, I’ll be okay.

15 minutes is easy. 15 minutes I can do.

with great respect…

rachel

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I’m back…

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My blood sugar hit 11.7 mmol today. It’s been a while. I mean a long while. Since starting Insulin in 2014 and simultaneously going low carb I’ve had excellent control. A high for me was about 9 mmol. In the last two years, even that was pretty rare.

The control I’ve had over my numbers has been directly related to a huge amount of food restriction. A.K.A living on eggs, non-starchy vegetables and avocados and olive oil for the last 6 years. When my husband would ask, “How is your dinner?” my standard reply was, “the same.” I could make breakfast, lunch or dinner in 15 minutes tops. Eating to live, and fine with that. Worth the sacrifice if it meant staying healthy.

Don’t get me wrong low carb works. It totally works. The question is… is it healthy and sustainable? I have been low carb for 6 years so it’s doable but healthy?anna-pelzer-IGfIGP5ONV0-unsplashHealthy is having a rainbow in your diet. Healthy is as much emotional satisfaction as physical satiation. Healthy is enjoying food, being social, being able to go out and pick something off the menu without guilt or fear. Healthy is putting the meal together and then trusting that what you inject will do the job. I’m not talking eat whatever you want and cover, rather eat whole foods that please the eye and the pallet. Know you are taking in life sustaining nutrients and that your body can take it in, digest it and distribute the energy accordingly.

This is the basis of a yoga practice, absorbing prana from food, the atmosphere, anything you consume. If our own energy is scattered, stuck or overly dogmatic, we can’t absorb prana which in turn builds Ojas, the basis of our immune system.

In Ayurveda diet should be mitahari, which means balanced. Eating whole grains, legumes, fruits, vegetables etc. Everything according to your type incorporating the six tastes of sour, salty, sweet, bitter, pungent and astringent.JMFO1826Before my diagnosis I was able to follow an Ayurvedic vegetarian diet ad infinitum. After diagnosis I found myself narrowing my diet according to what I felt sensitive to or what I thought wouldn’t cause a high blood sugar. Eventually I was so afraid of going low I stopped trying. I told myself I couldn’t have mung beans or quinoa because it was too confusing to dose for. I couldn’t have fruit because I would spike. My list of excuses was long. My openness and availability to try something new was zero.

In the last few years I’ve started each year with a diabetes goal. In 2018 it was braving meal time insulin (up until then I managed on a split dose of basal with severe carb restriction). In 2019 I worked on healing my gut. My 2020 goal came out of months of feeling helpless around the situation we are facing on the planet and watching two documentaries Cowspiracy and The Game Changers. Discovering that animal agriculture is one of the main contributing factors to climate change and seeing how athletes were able to maintain a vegan diet and increase their performance, made me question what I was eating and why.

To be honest wanting to go vegan was a total heart longing. I’ve never liked the feeling of eating animals (as a kid, I used to pretend to eat my pork chop and when no one was looking I’d push it into a napkin and then excuse myself and flush it down the toilet) so it made sense to stop.pexels-photo-3669638The big question for me was how. How could I make the transition from keto to vegan smoothly? Was it even possible? While I was mulling over the what and how, a T1D friend sent me a PM about a new program she was on which was high carb, low fat and and how successful it had been. She suggested I try it.

I balked at the idea. Then another T1D I follow on Instagram shared his story of going from keto to vegan.  His story was inspiring and confronting. I had to ask myself, what was my excuse really? Was I going to be terrified of carbs and insulin for the rest of my life? What was holding me back?

Doing some deep soul searching around these fundamental questions forced me to take stock of the times in my life where I’d faced a seemingly insurmountable hurdle. I reflected on giving birth. That was terrifying, yet I did it. I thought about how I managed during 9/11. How when I thought I couldn’t handle the shock I actually rose above it and made it through. Even after my diagnosis I was able to eventually find a way to acceptance. I also thought about the beach. Here in South Africa the water is beyond cold. Going in takes a certain kind of bravado.IMG_0674That’s how I decided to approach this new and exciting chapter in my diabetes management. If I didn’t jump in, I might regret it. If I did, hopefully I’d feel refreshed and invigorated.

Five weeks on from transitioning to a plant-based diet. I’ve introduced a huge range of foods, with hardly a hitch in my digestion. The big challenge has been to experiment with insulin to carb ratios to find what works best when. I’ve also had way more highs and lows then before. I’ve had to be courageous while watching that straight down arrow on my freestyle libre. Patient when I see a spike.

My insulin needs have completely changed. I need less basal; more bolus and I am becoming more and more sensitive to insulin. I’ve also had to slowly build my daily carb intake working my way up to about 250 carbs per day. That’s been hard, but I’m getting there. I’ve also rekindled my passion for creating recipes. I’ve made hummus, nori rolls, veggie burgers. I’ve been eating heaven in a bowl for breakfast. Smoothie bowls with dates and figs, bananas and papaya. I now look forward to eating and cooking. I’m excited to try things like beets, leeks, peppers again. I feel like every meal is a party. One I get to have for myself.

The best side effect of my new diet is increased energy and decreased aches and pains. When I step on my mat I feel open, balanced and clean from the inside out. It feels like I’m back.IMG_1095If you’d like to find out more about a plant based whole food diet check out this brilliant new book, Mastering Diabetes

If you’d like to have more one on one support to make the transition I highly recommend Drew Harrisberg from www.drewsdailydose.com

Learning to colour outside the lines

This post may contain affiliate links to products I trust. Please read Disclaimer for more info

Yesterday we went for another delicious walk along our wild coastline to a pristine river. This time I was prepared for the inevitable hypo. It paid off. I hypo’d, downed 3 glucose gummies and in 10 minutes was back on track. It was deeply satisfying to know I handled the whole thing without freaking out.

It was in bed this morning having a D & M ( deep and meaningful) with my husband that I realised that managing diabetes is like trying to get good grades. As a kid I worked hard to get an A. I was more of a B+ kind of student but I knew that if I studied hard and went that extra mile I could do better. I liked the feeling of mastering the challenge. It meant getting my head around tricky hard to understand subjects and being rewarded for my effort.

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When I go off track in my diabetes management it’s not that it’s the end of the world, or that I won’t survive, its more that the goal I set for myself of staying in range is challenged. Taking my basal shot an hour later, or eating my dinner late, these things won’t make me sick, but they’ll change the landscape of the days to come. Questions like; will I need more or less insulin to manage the change in routine, how will my energy levels be, what should I eat? Things people without diabetes don’t even have to consider. It’s the mental energy needed to dissect the situation that can be frustrating and confusing.

It’s easier just to stick to my routine and forget about it.

Life however needs to be lived in full colour. 2020 for me is all about pushing the edges of my own ideas about management. These long nature hikes are part of it. As is experimenting with when to dose. I’ve taken to dosing at the start of a higher carb meal (I used to dose at the end of the meal) and am seeing less of a post meal spike (duh) and also seeing a flatter line up until my next meal. I may not have as good an A1c as I did mid 2019, but I am seeing flatter lines, less spikes and better overall control.

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Learning to colour outside the lines isn’t one of my strong points when it comes to living with diabetes, but I’m giving it my best. When friends and family are along for the ride I am learning that rather than expecting them to understand what I am going though it’s up to me to understand how I react and respond to my situation. If I’m cool with stopping mid walk to treat my hypo than naturally everyone else will be too. My tendency is to feel like my condition puts out other people’s plans. It’s a myth I’m determined to bust.

As I head into my 12th year with diabetes my New Years resolutions are simple. Try new approaches to management, do things that push the boundaries and most importantly put myself first.

Wishing everyone a very Happy New Year

With great respect…

rachel

P.s these were the gummies I downed on my walk. So easy and quick, better than glucose tabs overall and actually yummy with no artificial flavours or colours or preservatives. Highly recommend them!

 

The day I forgot my insulin

Forgetting things is normal. Like forgetting my wallet when I go to the store, or my phone or car keys. It’s usually a hassle and requires some unexpected backtracking, but in the scheme of things forgetting stuff is no biggie. But insulin? OMG! Who knew?

Suffice it to say I have never ever forgotten to bring my insulin with me on a trip. No matter how big or small if my outing includes a meal, I put it in my purse and that’s that. Until the other day. For some ridiculous reason, I forgot it.

And  I didn’t realise I’d forgotten it until we were already miles and miles away.  The morning had run as usual, yoga practice, followed by cooking my lunch, packing it and loading up the car. We were heading to Knysna, a picturesque town on the Garden Route here in South Africa. I’m not sure whether it was distraction, the fact that diabetes wasn’t number one on the list that morning or what. Once I realised what had happened there was absolutely no way I could forget. I was freaked out and mildly hysterical. Even though my husband encouraged me not to be.

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Our purpose driven trip turned into a race against the clock. If I don’t eat my lunch around 1.00 pm my blood sugar tanks. I am not sure exactly why, it’s either the long acting insulin peaking or my own insulin kicking in. Regardless I eat lunch to stop the drop.

As my blood sugar started to tank my husband suggested I eat my lunch. Nope…can’t do that. If I do I’ll go high with no way to bring it down for another 2 hours. The only solution was to fast and eat when I could dose. In the meantime I downed a few glucose tabs amidst a grumbling hungry tummy. I also downed my feelings; frustration, anger and fear.

Fasting wasn’t a problem, but heading to the local bakery to buy Christmas cake was. As I stood in line looking at all the bakery delights I felt defeated. This has been me now for over 11 years. I don’t eat gluten, sugar or dairy because it messes with my levels and my delicate digestion. I don’t usually get upset standing in the bakery line, in fact I don’t care, but today with a perfectly good lunch sitting in the car, fasting and skirting an endless low I was livid. Why can’t I just this once enjoy apple strudel! F…k

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As soon as we got home I ate my lunch. It was 3 pm. I calculated that we could still eat dinner at the normal time so that my schedule wouldn’t be too interrupted. Just because I craved normalcy after this hiccup didn’t mean it happened. The most annoying thing about a mishap in routine is that I have no idea how it’s going to influence anything. It’s a total experiment. It’s not just the physical stuff that goes topsy turvy, it’s my emotional responses.

Despite my efforts to use my go to practices for mental and emotional stability, i.e yoga, breathing, meditation and the teachings of yoga (Atma Vidya), I reacted. After lunch I had a tantrum. It made no sense, it was ugly and probably a result of pent up anxiety.

Reaction sucks. There is absolutely no point in blaming others for enjoying life and doing what they normally do. I could have gone to the chemist and gotten some insulin, I didn’t have to fast for the day, I could have stayed in the car rather than gone to the bakery. I could have relaxed and accepted that this sort of stuff happens, people forget stuff, even big stuff. I didn’t. It’s my style to do things the hard way.

It’s been a few days now since my major stuff up and it’s been interesting to reflect. I’ve learned some really valuable lessons.

  1. When travelling always bring insulin. Put it in purse.
  2. Fasting works, but it does have after affects. I ended up struggling with lows for a few days afterwards because it increased my insulin sensitivity
  3.  Stay balanced during a crisis. Don’t succumb to hysteria. Put things in perspective
  4. Be kind! Be kind to one’s self and others. No one no matter how close knows how it feels to live with diabetes.
  5. Take stock and be grateful! Just 4 hours without access to insulin is nothing compared to someone who can’t afford insulin or lives in a  country where access is limited or non existent.
  6. Never ever forget insulin again!

With great respect…

rachel

I have diabetes, so what

Today ‘diabetes’ was the big topic of conversation amongst everyone I spent time with. I love how friends are curious about how I manage my daily life with this condition. I enjoy clarifying the differences between type 1 and type 2 diabetes, why we take insulin or sugar and the ins and outs of daily management. There are many diabetes myths out there, like people with diabetes can’t have sugar, or we take insulin for every situation, whether low or high, or that our diets caused our diabetes.

Diabetes is so much more complex and mysterious than that. It’s a bit like trying to put a square peg in a round hole. What I deal with in my iteration of diabetes is different to every other person with diabetes. That’s what makes it both frustrating and predictable. Living with diabetes means you can rely on its uncertainty.

And don’t get me started on how each person living with diabetes relates to their condition emotionally and mentally. In a recent conversation, a friend with type 2 diabetes stressed how exhausting it felt having to stay so vigilant with daily blood tests and visits to the doctor. In the end her way of dealing with it was to say, “I have diabetes, so what.”

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Listening to her take on diabetes made me reflect on my own approach. I could completely understand her position. Taking anything so seriously that it restricts your life can make you more unwell.

This is where I segway into my personal approach to management. It’s definitely the serious approach, where fear of complications such as loss of vision, amputation, kidney damage,and neuropathy give me the discipline and impetus for strict control. I’ve used my body my whole life to express myself through dance and yoga. The body being my joy meter. I remember thinking as a teenager that if I couldn’t walk, or dance I didn’t know how I’d cope. I feel the same way now as an avid yoga practitioner. I see the body as a powerful tool for health and wellbeing. If you can open, stretch and strengthen the body you can directly affect how you deal with any physical , mental or emotional stressor.

Luckily the daily discipline required of a dancer and yogi has its benefits, I utilise it  to be comfortable with eating the same kinds of foods at every meal, taking approximately the same amount of insulin, walking at a specific time each day, checking my blood sugar often and using yoga and meditation to mange my mindset. When I veer from my daily routine it takes days to catch up. It’s hard for me to experiment and try new approaches even when I know those changes would benefit me. I don’t want to beat myself up about my approach though… I’m fine with it. As one of my diabuddy’s once said,  “You do diabetes your way and if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

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Walking with my friend today we talked about how it feels when I see a positive number on my glucometer or I know I’m doing good time in range. ” Do you feel like you can take a moment to soak in the tone of that feeling? In other words stop and feel how good it feels to know your managing well? ” I absolutely loved the way she put this. If I can acknowledge the good feelings, really soak them in then perhaps those more challenging moments i.e low or high blood sugar freakouts, will be less stressful. I like the idea that even something as stressful as diabetes gives me the opportunity to embrace those feel good vibes and to heal my nervous system.

A nice way to acknowledge that even though I have diabetes, so what.

See you tomorrow

with great respect…

rachel

It’s not up to me

Setting myself the task to write something every day for 30 days about diabetes to spread diabetes awareness is definitely daunting. I live with diabetes for 365 days a year and deal with it 24/7 so it should be easy to articulate that right? In reality the way I deal with diabetes is deeply private.

After spending 6 years ignoring it and then spending 4 years shouting about it via writing a book and being a fierce advocate through social media, it’s been interesting to spend this past year taking a break from the need to externalise my experience.

In 2019 I set a goal to lower my Hba1c, heal some of my underlying digestion issues and be brave when it comes to taking Insulin. I started 2019 using the Diabetic Health Journal, created by yogi and  diabetes health coach Lauren Bongiorno, with incredible results. Writing down daily goals, things I was grateful for and staying accountable made a big difference. My Hba1c went from 6% to 5.6 % in 6 months. If you’re not sure what that means it’s like dropping your cholesterol levels or blood pressure. Moving it from a pass to a win.

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I also went into hyper drive with my digestion, adding different supplements, bone broth and more variety into my daily meals. I worked on stored trauma with network spinal analysis and neuroimmunology sessions. Finally I made sure to keep up a daily walk and my twice daily yoga practice.

Making a concerted effort to shift some deep seated patterns has been an interesting process. I didn’t necessarily make great strides or have major revelations, instead I settled more into accepting what is.

“What is” might not be what I want but if I can accept it that’s a pretty good place to be. It’s how I dealt with diagnosis after fighting it for so long and pretty much how I manage my finicky digestion and volatile blood sugars and everything else that comes my way.

My latest go to phrase for everything is, ” It’s not up to me” That’s not about not doing everything I can to stay balanced. It’s about understanding that I don’t know the recipe of creation.  Letting go of needing to know, enjoying the gifts I’ve been given and trusting that whatever comes is perfect, goes a long way in helping me manage my condition.

I never expected to be diagnosed with diabetes but now that I have been I can honestly share it’s a blessing in disguise.

More on that tomorrow  #NDAM #DiabetesAwarenessMonth

With great respect…

rachel

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A little goes a long way

Oatcakes it’s been a while. A long while, I don’t think I’ve even so much as looked at you since 2014. 2014 was when I read Dr. Bernstein’s Diabetes Solution, learned about the benefits of low carb eating, the law of small numbers and laid down my carb habit for what I hoped would be forever. So far, it’s worked well… but there have been some issues.

The biggest one being my ongoing food intolerances which includes reacting to seeds and nuts. Cutting them out of my diet has meant less flow in the plumbing department and it’s starting to bum me out. (literally!)

Over the last three days I’ve been reintroducing oats into my diet. Day one I took ¼ of an oatcake, which made me a mucous ball. It didn’t deter me though. Day 2 I had ½ a cracker and my blood sugar pretty well stayed stable. Day 3 I lashed out and had a whole 4.7 carb of a cracker with my egg and avocado brekky, took the same amount of Insulin as always (1 unit) and watched my blood sugar go up up and away.

I did crack open a fresh pen, could it be that? Not sure…because yesterday I had too much insulin and went low.

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I also made a post into the DOC to get advice and someone suggested I try switching up the timing of my bolus. Someone else said I should eat fat with fat and carbs with carbs to get the dose right.

To be honest I am actually terrified to add more carbs into my diet because I am still working out how to manage my lows. At the same time my goal for this year is to be able to eat a broader range of foods and to be relaxed around food. I’d like to feel comfortable eating out, eating in… whatever.

It’s been super interesting to observe my attitude change towards my blood sugar levels since I’ve nailed my A1c goal. I used to see a spike and be like, “oh well, try again next time” I had a no sweat attitude because I didn’t realise how important it was for my health to have better time in range. But now after nearly 6 months of flat lines and what I perceive to be excellent control a few days of peaks and troughs has me completely agitated and freaked.

Not a good look for someone who is touting the mind calming benefits of yoga. If I can’t maintain my cool during a breakout experiment with an oat cracker well what the F…k?What Sarah Said BlogDiayogi Sarah Macleod, shared in her latest Instagram post that non-judgement, one of the attitudes we can adopt through our yoga practice, is about stopping ourselves from labelling a blood sugar level as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. In other words, practice with the attitude of going for the best outcome while letting go of the end result.

Not so easy for a type A like myself!

As a few days have gone by since I started writing this post I ended up invoking the principle of flexibility from my yoga practice to help me work up to adding foods into my diet.

When I go into a yoga pose and feel challenged and inflexible I initially hold back from forcing myself in the pose. I watch my breath and wait. After about a minute I can feel all my muscles soften, then I can creep deeper into the pose. A little bit of movement actually takes me a long way.

So even though I was keen to get going with oats, I’ve stopped taken a breath and adopted a wait and see attitude. Oh and I added psyllium husks into my diet instead ( a great low carb option) and wouldn’t you know… a little goes a long way….

with great respect….

rachel

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dialling up the dose

I’m getting braver when it comes to taking fast-acting Insulin. My insulin to carb ratio has been 1:30 for the last year but that seems to be shifting. Either that or I’ve upped my carbs enough to need more. After nearly 6 years of nothing but greens, I’ve added butternut pumpkin, carrots, apples, and the occasional sweet potato.

My whole life I’ve been told that I need to eat sweet foods to stay balanced. Before my diagnosis, warm veggie root stew was my staple. The first 6 years post diagnosis I managed to keep my levels in range with a low carb diet. The first thing to go was bread, then pulses and eventually all grains. I got really good at making bread with sesame seed or almond flour until I overdid all the seed and nut flours too, ending up with even more tummy issues. Before I tried insulin, I had a very narrow corridor of foods that I could tolerate.

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Starting Insulin has made things easier but being sensitive I haven’t been able to leap back into pancakes even when they are made with low carb ingredients. It seems my body wants simplicity when it comes to food. So, in spite of my desire to go wild, eat whatever and cover I’ve been building back my gut flora and adding foods in and out in cycles to see if I can tolerate them. Some things have worked, like butternut pumpkin and carrots while other things like cabbage, kale and brussel sprouts haven’t.

It’s been frustrating and disheartening at times, knowing that in choosing to ignore my diabetes I damaged my digestion.

My husband, who has very simple needs when it comes to food always shares that the body needs food, it doesn’t need a particular type of food. It’s only me, the one eating the food that has a desire for something special.

Food is a language and I’ve become conditioned into that language developing a taste for the foods I like. In reality, food is sustenance.

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Part of what the deeper teachings of yoga have brought to me is a way to be with my condition with compassion. The other day we walked into a health food store with rows and rows of delicious things. Things I know my body will react to if I eat them. Rather than get despondent or feel angry I felt a quiet acceptance. Reminding myself that I had 42 years of eating whatever I wanted. If I needed to avoid those foods so I have a more relaxed tummy so be it.

In the words of the Rolling Stones, “You can’t always get what you want.”

As my journey into my 11th year with diabetes continues I am still coming to terms with this condition. I’ve shared before on the blog that my endo wants me to get to the point where managing my diabetes is so ordinary that it’s as easy as brushing my teeth and that I no longer panic about changing the amounts of insulin I need, that I trust my body and its ability to work with the medication.

I agree that I need to have a healthy attitude towards insulin, but I also feel I need to stay alert, check my blood sugar regularly and be sensitive to the timing of doses, exercise, and changes in my routine. I like to think of my life with diabetes as an adventure but at the same time have a good back up plan. For me, that’s the winning combo.

with great respect…

rachel

P.S I’d love to know your winning combo…comment below. It’s beautiful to learn and grow together.

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Sex and Diabetes: the good news

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Chocolate is sexy. Wearing red is sexy. Deep conversations…..sexy. Diabetes? Not so much.

When I was first diagnosed I wasn’t on insulin which meant no low blood sugars. In fact, a good romp meant lower blood sugars and time in range. I always felt better after, healthier and relaxed. It was also a respite. A moment where I was no longer obsessed with my meter. Although FYI I always tested before and after just in case.

After starting insulin, sex felt daring. Even risque. I never knew what the outcome would be. Would my liver kick in and dump more sugar or would my own insulin take over and plummet me to the depths? Sex felt like Russian roulette. Instead of gazing into the eyes of my beloved I was in full panic mode, making sure my glucose tabs were handy ‘just in case’.

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So how did I recover my mojo from those early diagnosis days?

Yoga, breath, and meditation.

Not quite sexy, but oh so satisfying. Yoga and its varied practices are the best way I know to regulate the nervous system and here’s why.

The system that’s responsible for the stress response and the sex response are located in the same part of your brain. They function at the same time and in response to each other. The center for learning, feeling good and motivation are also located in the same area. That means that the nervous system is intimately involved in all the different aspects of our sexual experience. I.e. anticipation, build up, orgasm and release.

Living with diabetes is a major stressor. We’re dealing with unpredictable blood sugars on top of everyday life. Stress also inhibits our sexual sensitivity and sensuality.

According to Artemis School and anatomy project founder, Lara Catone, “When the nervous system feels safe and can enter a state of relaxed downregulation the body can enter the processes it needs for both physical and emotional healing as well as the opportunity to experience more flow, pleasure and “better” sex. “

So how can we support the body to feel safe?

Starting with the breath. Breath regulates the nervous system. It’s easy to use and foolproof. There’s not one second that you’re not breathing right? And not only that you can use it during sex. The next time you’re at it in the boudoir try and catch how your breathing.

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Are you panting? Sighing? Holding your breath? See if you can consciously breathe evenly and slowly. Even dare to increase the length of your exhalation which deliberately calms the nervous system. You’re probably thinking, c’mon that’s crazy… Sex is all about letting go.

And yes it is! However, when you work consciously with your breath during sex you can actually enhance and increase your sexual pleasure. Especially at the moment of orgasm and just after. There is a whole area of modern yoga dedicated to the idea of sacred sexuality which borrows from eastern mysticism streams like the Tao.

The simple practice of controlling your breath is just the first step in teaching your body to relax. Immediately after orgasm is another opportune moment to pause.

Try this meditation for maximum post sex relaxation

You’ve just put your body through the paces building up to a burst of heady pleasure and connection with your lover. Instead of falling asleep in the afterglow sit upright and find your most comfortable seat. Begin to watch your breath. Notice the initial pace and speed slowing down to a steady rhythm. Not trying to control the breath you let it wash over and soothe you tuning in to the sensations all over your body. Perhaps you feel lighter, more tingly, perhaps there is a feeling of profound relaxation.

Bring your awareness to the center of your chest and imagine a light there no bigger than the size of your thumb. Feel it expanding on inhalation and drawing back to a pinprick on exhalation. Keep increasing the expansion of light on inhalation until you feel it surrounding you then draw it back on exhalation to the smallest dot. As you continue to do this notice how calm and present you feel. Working with the heart center enhances feelings of love, connection, and trust. On that note, it might even be something you and your partner would like to practice together.

You can work with this meditation practice for any length of time. It could be a few minutes or as long as a good soak in a tub. It’s up to you.

After finishing the practice sink back into your beloved’s arms and relax further. Then do what needs to be done for your diabetes knowing that the relaxed part of your nervous system is tuned in and switched on.

In my personal experience, the practices of yoga continue to enhance my sensitivity and ability to cope with diabetes in any situation. It has even made my diabetes, SEXY!

Check out my heart light meditation as a guided visualization and if you’d like to enhance your practice with mudra for diabetes I recommend checking out my favorite book, Yoga for the Hands by Gertrud Hirschi

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