I can’t eat that because…

I never considered myself a foodie until I changed my diet.  Now, thoughts about vegan pizza don’t seem so far-fetched. Nor does any kind of pasta or polenta adventure. Every day I incorporate more foods into my diet and every day I get a handle on how my body responds.

My biggest insight so far is that what I eat isn’t the problem, it is my relationship to food that I need to unpack.

My whole life ‘food’ has been a bumpy ride.

I’ve shared before that I was my own food police as a dancer. Watching my weight was critical to how I performed. I can remember being adamant that 2 lettuce leaves were plenty for lunch. I was never anorexic or bulimic, but I definitely had a pattern of starving myself followed by enjoying butter and sugar sandwiches. Luckily this pattern of behaviour didn’t last and by the time I was in my 20’s I had visited a sensible naturopath who explained to me the importance of eating a well-balanced diet.

Yoga, meditation, breathwork and a simple vegetarian diet were my mainstay for many years. I didn’t have the best digestion, but I certainly enjoyed a wide variety of foods and I cherished growing and eating home grown vegetables and trying out new recipes.

Then things got worse.

When I was diagnosed with diabetes there wasn’t much information about the connection between type 1 diabetes and the microbiome. My endo insisted I start eating meat, my GP suggested a keto diet. When I complained that my tummy was burning, or that I was constantly moving between diarrhoea and constipation, I was told it was parasites, leaky gut, candida overgrowth, IBS, gluten intolerance and so many more ailments.

Many alternative health practitioners later, I had narrowed the corridor of foods so much that I was literally starving myself.

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My mind was like a fortress. If anyone contested what I was doing. I.e. restricting my diet, I would defend myself by saying, “I can’t eat that because I’ll have to take too much insulin. I have bad digestion because of diabetes. I don’t want to go low! I have perfect control so what’s the problem?”

Now, after radically changing my diet (I’m doing a whole food plant-based vegan diet with up to 250 carbs a day) and learning how diet, exercise and insulin really work, I can see that I was in denial about my disordered eating. The package may have been different, but it was just as detrimental as those 2 lettuce leaf dancing days.

Coming out of a pattern of disordered eating is not easy. It’s easier to stress about food. Worrying about what I eat was giving me some semblance of control. Releasing the reigns has meant I’ve had to face how scary it is to try new foods, bigger doses of insulin and to trust my body.

My Diabetes Coach and I have been meeting about once a month to try and fine tune how my body responds to different types of carbs. In one of our most recent sessions he encouraged me to be more intuitive with how I dosed. If I feel like having more of a starchy meal, like with sourdough or sweet potato, or oats. Why not pre-bolus, split the dose or take 20% more insulin? I could even take less insulin on more physical days and switch up my dose of long acting insulin.

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At first his suggestions felt scary. If I could just eat the same meals every day I could get the same results, right? Trying different combinations feels way scarier. Like flying a plane solo.

This is what letting go is all about, letting go of should’s, expectations, assumptions, feelings of inadequacy and doubt. All things that led to my disordered eating in the first place. ‘I should be able to control my diabetes. I won’t be able to unless I do such and such. Even if I try I’ll fail.’

I am finally understanding that knowledge is power. When we know how to resolve a problem and have the right tools, anything is possible.

I wish my endo and health team had told me that diabetes is a subject that requires in depth study.  Instead I’ve gone through years of ups and downs to discover that:

  1. Managing overall health is tied to individual constitution; the way I learn and my emotional mental behaviours and patterns.
  2. Seventy percent of the immune system is in the gut. What I eat, when I eat, how I eat and my relationship with food affects EVERYTHING.
  3. Stress reducing activities like yoga, meditation and breath work increase my sensitivity to insulin, improve my mood and mindset.

Screen Shot 2020-08-31 at 1.36.07 PMObviously, nothing is perfect, and living with diabetes is never going to be a walk in the park, but if I knew then what I know now. O. M. G. I could have saved myself so much headache, heartache, denial and self-harm.

Recently friends with diabetes have been contacting me and asking me how I made the transition from a low carb restrictive diet to a high carb low fat diet. We’ve had some big heart to hearts in our chats.  I know first-hand how hard it is to wrap your head around eating 250 carbs a day when you’ve spent years thinking low carb was the only way to get decent management.

The main thing I share is how scared I was, how I definitely needed hand holding and how I haven’t looked back. Having the opportunity to share my experience around food has been a source of healing too. It hasn’t just healed how I approach living with diabetes its transformed how I relate to myself.

If you’d like to learn more about how to transition to a whole food plant based vegan diet with support, check out my diabetes coach,  Drew Harrisberg and the books Mastering Diabetes and Fiber Fueled.

with great respect….

rachel

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It’s all attitude baby!

From that first moment I was given a glucometer to measure my blood sugar I thought about success and failure. In fact, I considered my diagnosis the biggest failure of my life. How could a yoga teacher, who’d dedicated her life to living in peak health, be diagnosed with diabetes? I still have moments of absolute disbelief. Like last night during my injection after dinner, I couldn’t help remembering my life before diabetes and thinking… how did I get here?

My diagnosis was a defining moment, so was my denial for the following six years. My capacity to handle my diagnosis was zero. My fight to change it was a ten. Facing my fears, taking medication and starting the process of healing my bruised ideas of who I was and how life should be, was a huge step. Luckily, I took it.

In my world every day is a gift. I see my ability to want something better, my desire to live, as a blessing. What other being in the creation has the ability to desire, to strive and to dream? Humanity has been given the gift of desire, how we use it…that’s up to us.

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Living with diabetes has given me plenty of desire. Goals like a normal A1c, constant time in range, accurate use of insulin, healthy exercise, a good night’s sleep, meaningful work, a happy relationship, a place to call home. For the most part I live the life that I’ve chosen and I’m happy.

But what if I couldn’t live that life? How much have and do I take for granted? Including my ability to desire? What about the people who can’t afford their medication, don’t live a stable and comfortable life? It’s very apparent here in Africa how difficult it is to live comfortably with diabetes. Access to technology that supports blood sugar management is only available to those with money and good medical aid. Even the information about diabetes is limited. Most ignore their diabetes and hope for the best. Diabetes is not a condition one can ignore. Eventually one way or the other it gets you. Hence the 24/7 dance we do to stay in range. It’s in the moments that I forget my diabetes (which has happened) that I have to remind myself. Woman…you have diabetes…check your blood sugar!

So what is success? The wisdom teachings from the tradition of Atma Vidya (Self Knowledge) take an empowering track.

Instead of thinking of success as what you have or hope to achieve. Think of success as your capacity to handle whatever life gives you.

Based on our desire’s life will present itself in four different capacities.

  1. We will get precisely what we expect
  2. More than what we expect
  3. Less than what we expect
  4. The opposite of what we expect

Framing this through the lens of diabetes, imagine…

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You decide to have pizza, you estimate the dose, and at the two- and four-hour marks BOOM you’re coasting on a perfect number. You’ve done pizza, before and aced it. You high five yourself because you got exactly what you expected.

You decide to have Pizza, you dose, then have dessert, stay up late binge-watching Netflix and you still have perfect numbers. Way more than you expected. Did your pancreas decide to work again or what?

You decide to have Pizza, dose and woops go high and have to take more insulin at the four-hour mark. The pizza wreaks havoc and for the next day or so you’re rage bolusing and fighting highs. Definitely less than you expected

You decide to have Pizza, you take a bucket load of insulin, or plan a dual wave on your pump to catch the high and for some unknown reason, the whole thing tanks before it even gets started. You’re going low, so low you crash at the restaurant, even worse, the EMT’s have to come and you wind up in the hospital. This is totally the opposite of what you expected! Worst case scenario.

The way we normally see success is in the end result. i.e. dosing goes perfectly. Success! Dosing goes even better than planned…super success. Dosing doesn’t go quite as expected. Damn, almost. Pizza night ends in disaster. What a mess!

Here’s the twist. Think of success as the attitude you take towards getting what you expect, and more than you expect. Instead of comparing a win to a loss. Take a win and see it for what it is.

Let me explain:

Having something go the way you want, isn’t personal. Yes, it may be your past experiences that enable you to dose perfectly. But what about all the factors you can’t control? The amount of cheese in the Pizza, what’s going on with your insulin sensitivity, how much stress is on board and the other 39 factors influencing your blood sugar? As much as we like to think we have the power in any given situation, we don’t. The one thing that is absolutely guaranteed is that nothing is under our control. That includes our existence. Can you claim ownership of what brought you into existence? The only thing we do know is that we exist. But what is existing? That’s a mystery.

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When you get the dosing right for Pizza, did you do it? Or was it the dance between you and all the unknowns. We are always dancing with unknowns. That’s the most incredible thing about being alive. We don’t know who we are, how we got here, or what we are doing here. We’re not given a road map at birth as to the nature of who we are. We are taught how to navigate life on a relative level and more often than not we make mistakes. Life would be so much easier with instructions!

Seeing getting what you expect or more than you expect with dispassion, not getting carried away and expecting that to be the new normal builds your capacity to deal with getting less than you expected or the opposite of what you expected. It’s called equanimity. Happy regardless of the outcome. Happy isn’t elation or ecstasy. It’s acceptance.

Whatever I get, whatever life brings, the lows, the highs, the challenges, the frustrations, the blessings the amazing opportunities.  They aren’t good or bad. They just are. It’s not about me. Life flows through me and the more I accept what comes without making a judgement. The greater my capacity to deal with whatever comes next.

with great respect…

rachel

A joy to be alive

I can’t believe its the last day of Diabetes Awareness Month. When I set myself the task of writing a post a day it felt daunting. How was I going to come up with something to say every single day about diabetes? Turns out it’s not that hard. When you live with diabetes 24/7 there’s always something to say!

That’s the thing about the passage of time, it’s a human construct. We’ve decided based on a calendar we’ve created as to what time, day and month it is. Have you ever wondered what time it is on the sun? Timeless.

Living with diabetes is like that. It never ends. I’d like to think there’s a cure around the corner, but I’m realistic. For now the management tools we have available are enough. I’ve added yoga, ayurveda and a primarily plant based whole food, organic diet. I use every peer support group available and do my best to give back to the community. That’s the cool thing about living with type 1 diabetes I’m not alone. In every country around the world I know people just like me thriving.

At diagnosis I isolated myself and lived with guilt and shame until it became imperative that I educate myself about my condition. I still can’t believe it took me six years to do that. It shows how much the internet and knowledge around the condition have shifted in the last decade. A very good sign.

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With such positive changes in the way the general public and the diabetes community perceive diabetes I can only hope and pray that the situation around insulin pricing also changes for the better. No one should have to pay for their life.

Living with diabetes certainly isn’t boring, it’s a never ending kaleidoscope of unpredictability that put’s me on the razors edge. But I’m up for the task. It’s given me a strength I never knew I had, a conviction to make a difference and a willingness to let go of my ideas of how I think things should be.

Living with a chronic illness is more than just rising above a condition. It’s about living life to the fullest without preconceived notions, other people’s standards or idealised projections.

It’s a joy to be alive.

With great respect…

rachel

Take that diabetes!

Yesterday, somewhere above Antarctica I celebrated my diaversary, the day I was diagnosed with diabetes.  11 years ago my life took on new meaning. At the time I had no idea why or how. I was stunned, shocked and miserable. I can honestly say that 11 years later I am the happiest I’ve ever been.

My life didn’t take a turn for the better just because of diabetes, at diagnosis my marriage was also undergoing serious strain. Diabetes forced me to get real about what was and wasn’t working in my life. Anything that contributed to stress had to go.

I didn’t heal all at once, rather it happened in stages. I started by changing my diet, eating more whole foods, ditching leftovers, eating more consistently. I added Ayurvedic regimes like daily self massage, herbal tonics, sipping hot water throughout the day and making sure I was heading to bed before 10 pm. I added daily meditation and pranayama to my yoga practice, activities, like flower mandala creation, long morning walks and time to reflect. I had a space in my house where I built an altar. A place to remind myself to be grateful each and every day for life and all its gifts.

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Eventually my marriage ended and my son moved to Melbourne and it was time to sell our family home. That’s when I packed up and moved to Goa. At that point just two years post diagnosis I didn’t know that I was living with type 1 diabetes, I still thought it was type 2, or some sort of mistake. All the health practitioners I went to see insisted it couldn’t be diabetes. So I went to India hoping for respite, or even a cure.

The cure came after I met my husband, John and as I mentioned in a previous post when I discovered the profound teachings of Atma Vidya, Self-Knowledge. Being given the gift of seeing beyond my condition and circumstances as an individual changed my life permanently. It was the turning point for every single moment in my life where I had tried to lay blame. Like the idea that I had brought diabetes on myself, that there was something that I had done wrong to ‘get’ this disease either real or imagined.

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I learned that taking responsibility for every action and reaction isn’t some sort of cosmic destiny, it’s being a grown up. There is no reason ‘why’ I live with diabetes. It is what it is. It’s up to me how I live with it moving forward.

So here I am 11 years later living a life I could only have dreamed of.  So to celebrate this momentous day I say thank you. Thank you to diabetes, for my life.

See you tomorrow #NDAM #DiabetesAwarenessMonth

with great respect…

rachel

Take to the Skies

As I am just 24 hrs out from travelling again I thought I would share another post I wrote for Beyond Type 1. I am a well seasoned traveller, but geez travelling with all my gear sends me bananas. This time we will be away for 6 months, which means I am carrying 6 months worth of needles, CGM’s, insulin and test strips. So much stuff that my husband has to carry some in his suitcase and carryon as well. If you are curious to know my top travel hacks for travelling with diabetes keep reading.

“Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you’d drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It’s more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.” – Ray Bradbury

I live between three or more continents in one year, teach yoga internationally and I’m a Type 1 diabetic. This means I have to travel regardless of my health condition. Is it easy? No. Do I enjoy it anyway? Yes. Recently, I participated in a twitter chat to share people’s experiences around flying with diabetes. It gave me a chance to share some of my personal insights — how I use yoga to stay balanced and to inspire others to feel more confident about taking to the skies.

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I carry on me …

  • long and short-acting insulin in Frio wallets
  • two glucometers
  • needles
  • test strips
  • a letter from my doctor
  • ALL MY FOOD!

I also check ahead to make sure that the country I am flying to has access to the type of insulin I need and that I can get a hold of test strips. I google for everything. It’s probably obsessive, but I want to minimize my stress as much as possible.

Before I was diagnosed, I felt free to go just about anywhere and since my diagnosis, I haven’t let diabetes stop me — I’ve just adapted. Being diagnosed as a LADA Type 1 eight years ago, my onset was slow. For the first six years, traveling meant making sure I had all my own food with me and only staying in places where I could cook for myself. When I did go out to eat I always called ahead. I was managing my levels by staying as low carb as possible and had quite a few food sensitivities, so sometimes eating out was a tough call. I always thought that when I went on insulin things would get tougher. I was wrong. Insulin has actually made traveling so much easier.

Instead of trying to use food and exercise to stay in range — nearly impossible when you’re stuck on a plane for 16 hours with airline food — I can cruise through the trip with my once-a-day shot of long acting insulin. I’m not on fast acting yet, so I can’t comment on what it’s like to fly and bolus. But I’m convinced that traveling with your own snacks, not only for hypos, but for your own sanity, absolutely helps you to feel better when you land.

Read the rest at Beyond Type 1...

See you tomorrow #NDAM #DiabetesAwarenessMonth

with great respect…

rachel

Who am I without my diabetes?

What’s the single most powerful tool from yoga that’s helped me manage my diabetes? Atma Vidya. Atma Vidya is Self-Knowledge. Atma means Self and Vidya means knowledge. What do you think of when you hear these two words put together? Before I was led through these beautiful teachings I thought SELF meant me, my name, my ideas, my beliefs, my broken pancreas. KNOWLEDGE referred to knowing this, getting this.

I was mistaken.

It’s easy to know what I have. I have a name, a job, a relationship. I have thoughts, ideas and beliefs. I have a condition called diabetes. It’s obvious that I know about things that I have. The deeper question is who does the name, job, relationship, idea, disease belong to? Who is that?

I travelled to India and to the heart of the tradition to find out. The tradition I studied with is thousands of years old. Knowledge shared orally in an unbroken lineage. This kind of teaching is not available in your neighbourhood yoga studio. It has only just recently been brought out of orthodoxy and secrecy. It’s a legacy that was reserved for the priests in India. It’s only due to my teacher and his teacher breaking with tradition that enabled my partner John Weddepohl (who teaches this knowledge) to study this methodology for 7 years in India. And lucky me, after meeting John in 2011, also having the privilege of studying with his teacher.

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Going through the teaching on an ashram in India while dealing with diabetes wasn’t easy. I wasn’t on insulin at that stage and was trying to control my levels with diet. With special permission I was able to set up my room with a fridge and cooker. That way I could cook low carb meals and control my levels.

When I started the course, I was nervous about how I would manage. We were told we would have to sit in the teaching hall without leaving for the duration of the lecture. I needed to pee every hour so that freaked me out.

The structure of the course was three 1.5 hour lectures a day, in between we were expected to write out our understanding of the lecture and then hand those notes to our teacher. That way the teacher knew exactly how we were assimilating the teachings. Sitting on a cold marble floor 4.5 hours a day learning about the SELF that wasn’t what I thought it was was confronting.

We spent days dismantling our ideas about everything and I mean every single thing! Imagine being shown without a doubt that the idea that the body is sick, imperfect, unfixable is just that…an idea. Even my thoughts about my ideas where stripped bare. Revealing the ‘I’ thought. This idea I have about myself.

If you’re reading this and thinking…WHAT?

Yep that was me in India too. Until the whole teaching reached its peak.

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You know when you’re trying to untie a knot and how it takes ages to loosen and then finally you find that one part of the string which unravels the knot? That’s what it’s like when you are shown the nature of Self.

Once I understood the nature of Self, my relationship to diabetes completely shifted. I no longer felt burdened by it. Something my teacher emphasised when I met with him privately, was that the body is not our business. We don’t know why it does what it does. Our job is to get out of the way, to see the body as something that is happening in our presence. We can do one of two things hinder or aid the body. If the body requires food, water or sleep it’s up to us to provide that. If the body needs medication, again we must give it what it needs.

I have often shared in my posts that I have diabetes I am not my diabetes. The knowledge I gained in India is the essence of that phrase. I can never be what I have.

Knowing this has kept me sane.

See you tomorrow #NDAM #DiabetesAwarenessMonth

with great respect…

rachel

A meditation on kindness

This is going to be a rant…

I’ve been low lately. Low in glucose levels, energy and motivation. Motivation to write this blog and be active on social media. Other than wanting to share through my channels what we can do as individuals to make a better world, I can’t watch the endless stories on Instagram anymore, even when I like the people who share them. I’ve got no time for superficial nonsense and I could give two hoots about how to live a better me. This is it baby, I AM me.

My inbox is crammed with junk mail and there’s no end in sight. The weather is way too hot, too cold, and here just up the road 21 homes have been destroyed due to raging bush fires. Last night we went to see the Joker. I came out with a headache. This movie is all about the making of a villain. No superheroes in sight.

But who is the villain?

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As far as I see it, we have been complacent too long (me included). If we don’t do something, say something and change our behaviour not only towards the planet but each other we are all ‘the villain’. I don’t care which way you lean. Be a decent human being. Those people putting themselves on the line deserve our support. Better yet put yourself on the line. Start with your own home, reduce your carbon footprint.

And all of us dealing with the high cost of Insulin, crap insurance and lack of money for medication, devices etc, the situation isn’t looking up. I had a meltdown the other day realising that if I am somewhere where access to medication becomes impossible for whatever reason, I and countless others seriously wouldn’t have long to live!

If you’ve been reading my blog for the last 4 years, you’ll know I am super positive. I always try and see the good in things. I use my yoga practice to support my mental and emotional health and absolutely believe yoga and knowing its true meaning can solve all our problems.

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Photo by Jaime Kinsella

So even though I have been feeling disheartened I’m also excited. Excited that things have finally got to the point where there is a possibility that we can breakthrough our complacency and come together. I truly wish for this with all my heart and I believe it can happen. Being part of the diabetes community has taught me that.

When I’ve needed an extra sensor, syringes or a shoulder to cry on someone’s been there. It feels natural to help others when it comes to chronic illness. It’s not our fault and if we can’t turn to the people who understand, life would be bleak. I trust that even though crisis is the worst and impossible to face, it also calls out the best in us.

When I was in 9/11 in NYC and walking through the streets to make my way home, I walked along the 59th street bridge with 7,000 people shoulder to shoulder. We held each other in that embrace. Nobody was arguing, complaining or attacking. We were one breath, one body, helping each other home.

This post today is a clarion call. What small act of kindness can you do today to make a difference? It could be something personal or planetary. This is what is meant by the practice of Karma Yoga, Selfless service. The yoga of action.

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Recently my friend and mentor Eve Grzybowski started a group on Facebook called Climate Yoga. Asking Yoga teachers to find ways in which they could act off the mat to support the climate movement. The group grew from 10 to 200 or so in a matter of days. This shows how yoga can be a springboard for anything we care deeply about.

Why? Because during your yoga practice you learn to cultivate compassion for yourself. A posture may not be easy, your breath may be inhibited, you may feel too tired to stretch or hold a pose. Being kind to yourself is the first step in learning compassion. I often talk gently to myself on the days I don’t want to do anything. Reminding myself that if I just do two or three poses it’s enough.

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The same goes for how we can contribute to this huge behemoth of climate change. Think about two things you could do today and every day to reduce your carbon footprint. It might be something as simple as walking somewhere you would normally drive. ( p.s also great for blood sugar management) Going meatless on Mondays. Bringing your own bag to the supermarket.  In fact if you’d like a list I’ve found this one to be really cool.

And if you’d like to get inspired to ‘be the change’ you wish to see in the world. Try this simple loving kindness meditation.

Loving Kindness Meditation

Sit comfortably or lie down.

Bring your awareness to the breath as it enters and leaves the nostrils.

Remember the happiest moment in your life and feel yourself happy and smiling.

Visualise sending yourself feelings of love, kindness and joy.

Think of 3 things that you love about yourself.

Think about ways in which you are kind to yourself.

Then say to yourself. May I remember myself as pure loving kindness. May I remember my natural strength, peace and joy.

Next think of someone you love and extend that loving kindness to them. Wish peace, strength, happiness and joy for them. Feel yourself sending them love and imagine them sending love back to you. Think of the things you love about that person.

Repeat the same loving kindness words for someone that you don’t know so well. A neutral individual.

Now repeat the same process with someone or something you feel is hostile towards you or you feel hostile towards. This could even be directed at the anger and frustration you feel towards your diabetes

Go back to step one. Direct loving kindness back towards yourself. Feel yourself as love, peace and joy. Feel how love peace and joy is the nature of every human being. Feel your compassion extending out from your heart to every single creature of the earth. Feel it like a giant heart pulsing through the whole of creation….

Finish by bringing your awareness back to your breath taking some slow deep belly breaths.

With great respect…

rachel

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Photo by Jaime Kinsella

Transform your greatest challenge

Today I am sharing a guest post from yogini Evan Soroka. Some of you may remember her from the diayogi summit in October. Evan is a wise soul whose lived with type 1 diabetes for the past 20 years and is living proof that yoga is an alchemical and transformational modality to completely revolutionize your life with diabetes. Everything Evan shares from her presence on social media, to her work with groups and individuals both on and offline, is infused with a calm wisdom that will transform how you see yourself and your diabetes. Her program Rise above T1D launches today and I am super excited to share her story with you. Take it away Evan…

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I have always been and will continue to always be a curious adventurer at heart. Growing up in the mountains much of my free time was spent under the influence of nature. It is no wonder that the story of my diagnosis revolves around adventure and the continued success of my journey with type 1 diabetes is due to that same ardor to know more.

The summer leading up to diagnosis was a season of flux. I had spent the previous year preparing for my Bat Mitzvah; a much anticipated coming of age ceremony in Jewish tradition. My body was under rapid permutation from girl to woman and the obvious signs of illness passed under the radar. Looking back I remember a rabid thirst that could not be quenched. The day before my Bat Mitzvah I wet the bed. My parent’s passed it off as nerves. There were a number of other subtle red flags, which would have been more obvious had I of been older and more self-aware. I kept a lot of the symptoms to myself. I was diagnosed at the end of that summer after a backpacking trip in the Colorado wilderness. It was not until this trip, quiet under the influence of Mother Nature, did I perceive of something being wrong with me.

After diagnosis, I did not understand the magnitude of the change to come. I enjoyed the spotlight and lavished attention. I was too young to conceive of my own mortality to be fearful and too curious to be upset by the doctors, hospital beds and needles. However, the limelight did not last and soon I was unhinged by my reality. The emotional rollercoaster of highs and lows, the tension of child/parent dominance, unresolved insecurities and emotions left me a shell of my former self. I struggled to learn new eating habits and became increasing obsessive with my weight, body image and stopped enjoying outdoor activities that I had once cherished. Two years after diagnosis I moved to rural Brazil on a Rotary Youth Exchange Program. My dad still jokes that I did not give my parents another alternative. I was determined to face the world and diabetes on my own. The year abroad was necessary for my own self-development and growth. I learned how to live on my own with T1D in a new culture, climate and explain my condition in a foreign language. I was confident but defiant, self-sufficient yet completely incompetent. Thankfully I found yoga.

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Yoga bridged the gap from my head to my heart. It was the first thing that I learned to do for myself since diagnosis that granted me a sense of freedom. It was a connection to a natural part of me that was beyond all insecurities, pain, and sadness. With practice, I learned how to use yoga as a tool to manage the symptoms and side effects of T1D.  Since those early years I have dedicated my life’s work to yoga.

A full-time teacher since 2007, I have received some of the highest credentials in yoga teaching, becoming an ERYT 500 (minimum 2000 hours of teaching) and a Certified Yoga Therapist (5-year program).

Yoga therapy, derived from yogic philosophy and Ayurvedic tradition, helps individuals facing health challenges at any level manage their condition, reduce side effects, restore balance, increase vitality and elevate attitude about life.

Yoga therapy, unlike Western medicine, considers the individual a whole multi-dimensional being addressing the physical, mental/emotional and spiritual levels. The tools of yoga postures, breathing exercises and meditation promote awareness, discipline and grant the individual the power to cultivate true and lasting change. I am a dedicated practitioner as well as a patient of yoga therapy, with a daily practice. I teach from direct experience and influence my students with the same drive and compassion that I have learned for myself.

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Today I am launching my  6-Weeks Rise Above T1D online yoga therapy program. This program is a compilation of my life practice and aims to teach all diabetics how to skillfully navigate chronic illness.

You will learn how to:

  • Apply yoga directly to your symptoms and side effects.
  • Increase insulin sensitivity, reduce stress and anxiety, manage energy levels and elevate your attitude about T1D.
  • Unearth limiting belief patterns and fears that hold you back from achieving what you really want.
  • Use your body as a vehicle for transformation and freedom.
  • Create and maintain a daily yoga and meditation practice.

If not for a regular practice I would not be the successful diabetic that I am today. I am by no means a perfect diabetic but it does not control me. When I am not on my mat or teaching you can find me adventuring in my Colorado backyard.

close up Evan

Evan Soroka is a certified yoga therapist and teacher based in Aspen, Colorado. When she was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in early adolescence yoga was the only thing that helped her manage the uncomfortable emotional and physical side effects. Since then Evan has turned her greatest struggle into her life’s purpose. Through the practices and teachings of yoga therapy, she empowers others to use their own body as a vehicle for healing and transformation. www.evansoroka.com

The Good and the not so good

Who I am I kidding I am not at all sad to say goodbye to 2018. Yes, it was a year of many milestones, such as continuing to launch the book and creating an online summit, not to mention getting my BG levels under control.

But that doesn’t mean I was running around with a 24/7 grin on my face.

It’s been a year of tightening the reins, learning to say no, reaching out for help even when I was ashamed too, accepting that situations aren’t always how one imagines and giving myself a break.

And I know I haven’t been the only one plowing through in 2018. Most everyone I’ve spoken to says it’s been a tough one. Tough externally and internally.

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Luckily I have a gratitude practice. I’ve learned to focus on what’s working and to acknowledge that. Gratitude for me can be as simple as an internal thank you when something goes my way, engaging in a creative endeavor like writing, painting or singing or landing on my mat so I can let go and feel all the feels.

Gratitude is also about acknowledging the individuals and support groups that truly make my day and remind me that even though sometimes it feels like things are just too tough to bear, there are others just like me facing this condition with courage and tenacity.

Together we rise!

So as I bid farewell to 2018 here are some lessons learned

  • When in doubt reach out. People are ready and willing to help
  • Find out what people want before you create it
  • Do what you do best
  • Living simply is a blessing
  • It’s okay to rest
  • If you can’t give materially give of yourself
  • Learn to listen
  • Reuse, recycle, waste nothing
  • Tell your friends you are grateful for their friendship often
  • Be in Nature
  • Cry when you need to and make sure you get in some good belly laughter too
  • When things feel overwhelming do one task that you know will yield results
  • Eat well and sleep well
  • Turn a hobby into a skill that you can use to serve others
  • Seed an idea without expectation
  • Develop a physical or mental focusing practice that you can repeat daily to bring a sense of meaning and purpose to your life

Happy New year! (2)

Wishing everyone a wonderful and blessed  2019

with great respect…

rachel

 

You Got This!

It’s Christmas Eve here in Australia. Last year we were in The US with my family. We’d spent days shopping for presents, dressing the tree and the turkey and enjoying the snow and the cold. It was a personal cause for celebration with the launch of my book and the promise of many events and launches to come. I remember thinking how lucky I was to be with my family, to feel safe and supported and to be able to live my mission in the world.

As the year has unfolded it’s been full of incredible highs and difficult lows. As much as I’ve enjoyed traveling to share yoga throughout America and Australia it’s also been challenging. I live with a chronic illness, and staying on top of my health while living in a different place every few weeks has forced me to reflect and pause and think about how I want to begin the new year.

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My goal in Jan 2018 was to start taking insulin for meals. I’d started to notice my basal was no longer covering what I was eating. Plus I didn’t think I could take one more mouthful of greens, greens, and only greens.

I took the plunge with great support from some of my diabuddies plus testing out the MySugr app with diabetes coach Gary Schiener. After working out my insulin to carb ratio, when to inject and how to treat lows with glucose tabs ( I did some testing on how much glucose I need to raise levels in 10 minutes) it all came together.

A few months into the regime my diabetes educator said that my body responded well to mealtime insulin and it appeared more predictable than my body’s response to basal insulin ( I’ve really struggled to get that dose right).

A few months later when my A1c was the lowest it’s been since diagnosis (5.9%), she poured over my data to make sure I wasn’t living in the land of lows (which I wasn’t) and then finally last week my doctor declared I must still be producing some insulin and honeymooning because my A1c is holding steady.

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Go figure 10 years on. I know it’s the yoga and breathing and discipline with diet but shhh…. Don’t tell!

But just because I’ve managed to smash my A1c goal for the year doesn’t mean it’s all unicorns and rainbows. As much as I want to share all the good stuff here on the blog I also want to be real.

What you see on FB or Instagram doesn’t show the 24/7 reality. There is exhaustion, pain, and emotions, like anxiety, feelings of failure, overwhelm, insecurity, grief, and loss.

There are moments where I don’t want to write one more word on the page.

As much as I feel these feelings ( I know this is not just me but basically everyone) I’m also capable of rising above them through knowing that feelings are just thoughts I’ve entertained and given momentum too. No matter what the thought, good or bad, it’s just a thought. As quickly as it comes it will go.

mental health

So what’s my go-to when I am feeling absolutely exhausted or overwhelmed?

I do one thing that brings me comfort and one task I know I need to get done to work towards a set goal. It could be as simple as making myself my favorite lunch (baked sweet potato and pumpkin salad with Haloumi) and then answering a work-related email or creating a flyer for my next event and then going for a walk.

Whatever those two things are in committing to them I find myself relaxing, returning to my center and able to gather more energy for the next task.

As the year turns over into 2019 my wish for everyone is to know you are not alone when it comes to living with diabetes. No matter how tough it gets, or how challenged you are, there is hope and support. For me its Yoga, for you it might be something else. No matter what it is. You got this! If I can do it so can you.

Wishing you a truly beautiful holiday season. You are a precious gift!

Namaste and with great respect…

Rachel

From our family to yours,